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Subway Blues - Growing Older (almost) Gracefully..
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by Fripouille | February 25, 2009 at 10:03 am
401 views | 93 Recommendations | 33 comments
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I was brought up to be polite. So I do my best to be. I hold doors open for people, I hold elevator doors open, I walk on the outer side of the path to protect women from tyre-splashes, I look you in the eye when I talk to you, I say please and thank you....
...And I give up my seat on the subway to older people, pregnant women and women with lots of baggage and small children.
Older people appreciate it a lot, because they are more tired than us younger ones, and they like to sit down if possible.
Anyway, I got on the subway one not-too-long-ago evening, and I stood in a corner, leaning onto the back of a seat, because I was only going five stations down the line. The train moved off, and I was thinking about the lady with whom I was going to eat out with. (Sushi, I remember it well. Not as good as in a restaurant I know near Wrigley Field, Chicago, but oh well...).
My reveries were pleasantly interrupted when I heard a young man’s voice, very politely, asking someone near him if they would like to take his seat. “That’s nice” I thought.....
....Then I heard
“Excuse me sir, would you like to sit down?” again, and....and.....Euhh, I felt someone tapping me lightly on the arm..Tapping me lightly on the arm....
WHAT?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I whirled round in an instant and the horrible truth came crashing into my consciousness. It was as if I was finally being forced to open that anodyne-looking letter that you just know contains your horrifically-high car repair bill.
I looked at him, speechless, incredulous, mouth surely hanging open in stupour. Was he really talking to me? Wasn’t he talking to someone else, behind me? C’mon!
But no. He wasn’t. He was talking to me. He stood up and gestured to his seat for me. For me. Me. He was talking to me..
For a split second I could have killed him! I thought – ‘What? You think I’m old? Do you need glasses you little creep? Is that supposed to be funny?! Do you wanna die young in a subway train, nerd??!’
But no, he wasn’t being funny. And no, he didn’t need glasses. He was just a polite young twenty-something-years-of-age guy offering me his seat on the subway.
I managed to blurt out what must have been a slightly irritated “No thank you” and turned away. He looked a little disappointed........
I just didn’t understand what was happening!
I mean, it was always me who gave up my seat before. Me, because I’m young! What a shock! Wow, I just hadn’t felt older at all until that moment, never even considered the idea. I had always felt kind of..if not exactly young, not older either. Hey, I still sing rock music on stage, I do not wear pyjamas, and I run in the street for no reason sometimes, like a child.
It was so strange and depressing to suddenly realise that it was all changing, there on the subway, and that I knew that things would never be the same again.
Mind-blowing stuff. Why, just a couple of days before I had given up my seat to an older woman who was carrying a big parcel....
But now it was my turn. My turn.....M.Y. T.U.R.N.
The train approached my station. I suddenly thought about the polite young man, and I felt bad about my being a little abrubt to him. After all, it wasn’t his fault. He was just doing what I had tried to do all my life. He was trying to be polite in order to to help someone older.
So, as the train drew to a halt, I tapped him lightly on the shoulder. He looked up at me.
“Thank you so much for offering your seat" I said. "It was very kind of you but I wasn’t going far”.
He smiled back and nodded.
That made me feel so much better......knowing that he felt ok.
After all, we don’t want young people thinking that we older ones are ungrateful, now do we!!!
(I walked home, deep in thought.......)
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Most RecentMost Recommended Comments (33)
at 10:19 on February 25th, 2009
This made me laugh - thanks for that!
I love pyjamas, does that mean I'm getting old before my time?
at 18:30 on February 25th, 2009
On Monday at McDonald's the cashier asked me a weird question,
"Will that be a Senior Coffee with your sandwich ?"
Whaaaat.....the.. I thought and then realized my moustache is as grey as it is black. I took the Senior Discount and it was gooood !
at 10:28 on February 25th, 2009
So is it better to offer the seat, or not offer it? Now I am so confused! Thanks for a great post!
at 13:55 on February 25th, 2009
This is a super story! The opposite happened to me some time ago. I was 43 at the time and was iceskating at the rink in north London and, as you do when you are 43, I fell over. And this little kid shouted: Out the way, Grandad!
at 17:46 on February 25th, 2009
In my culture there was a time when most men were gentleman and offered their seat to a lady, young or old. I grew up used to it but as modern times took over. I rarely find a gentlemen who offers me their seat, or a student to carry my book. When it happens I say " Thank you gentlemen, there are so few of you nowadays" and they give me a big bright smile.
I loved your story!
at 18:03 on February 25th, 2009
Hey Patgarcia, Isn't it weird!?
I do not consider myself to be any more of a 'gentleman' than anyone else, but it just seems natural to let a woman, young or old, to sit down when there aren't many seats.
That said, times are hard. I was in Bordeaux not long ago and I asked a woman if I could help her with her (very cumbersome) baggage in the railway station. Her answer? "Go look for someone your own age".....
(Don't worry, I won't let that contretemps stop me......lol!)
at 10:15 on February 25th, 2009
Great story! Should be flagged as opinion though :)
at 14:57 on February 25th, 2009
Thanks, Harringtola.
Oh, we all know, or will know, this story, in one way or another!
All of us...
at 15:50 on February 25th, 2009
ha ha ha ha ha ha..................Age is just a number.not an opinion ,just your side of story that was nice to read for many reasons.I personally am enlightened that gentlemen do still exist.And I really had a good hearty laugh at how you put it across.
Brilliant.Loved It.young man.
at 18:30 on February 25th, 2009
What a great read! That's how I feel when I'm called Ma'am ...
at 05:28 on February 26th, 2009
Someone told me sometime back.
....we never know when kid-life crisis gives way to mid-life crisis.
How true.
.Agent.
at 07:07 on February 26th, 2009
A few moments of noisy silence is needed to survive in this beautiful city. At rest under a strangers eye.
E. Gierasch
El Photoland has contributed a photo to this story.
at 10:26 on February 25th, 2009
Ok Terri, will do.
(I had doubts though, because it's my own life and not a subjective viewpoint on a subject that isn't "me", but I'll do that, no problem....)
at 10:36 on February 25th, 2009
Ha!
Younger people wear them now because they're practical and pretty and well-designed, but when I was younger (I'm 55) us kids assimilated them with slippers and false teeth in glasses of water and hospitals!
Mind you, I don't suppose yours have vertical blue stripes on a yucky white cotton either......
(So no, you are not older before your time.......you're just younger. And power to you!!!)
Thanks....
at 10:37 on February 25th, 2009
Great read and photo, Fripouille! Thanks!
at 10:43 on February 25th, 2009
Hi Karenke4!
My take? Offer.
Your generosity is your expression of who you are.
Those who take it badly? That's their problem. Not yours..........
I offered my seat to a very old lady the other day on a bus. What did she say?
"Young man, I am perfectly capable of looking after myself".
She was right. But I was right to offer too.......
at 10:44 on February 25th, 2009
Great story.
It happens to all of us sooner or later.
Sorry for the delay in commenting. I am in the process of moving. I will be back on regularly by 5 March.
158
at 10:45 on February 25th, 2009
With pleasure Rhonda....
at 11:42 on February 25th, 2009
Hey 158 great to see you! Been a while...
Sooner or later? Yip! (But both takes have their good sides......)
Looking forward to your next missiles!!!!
at 14:09 on February 25th, 2009
What the f*** were you doing on a skating rink at your advanced and decrepit age?!!
That said, I was there too, I still am, and I shall be in the future.
But that also means this...
Anyone wanna play badminton with me? Wanna whippin'?
I'll pay drinks...........after you've paid yours...... ;)
at 14:32 on February 25th, 2009
I can relate to this story so completely. I do not remember the exact situation but I know it was recently (in the last year). Thank you for sharing this in such an eloquent way.
at 16:50 on February 25th, 2009
Dunno about the brill bit, but it just seems natural to me...Just my side of the story, as you say.
Thanks.....
at 18:41 on February 25th, 2009
Hi Blue Crush!
"Ma'am"?
Reminds me of a waitress in Dubuque when I was there in 2004. A younger guy called her that and she answered "If I"m 'Ma'am' you're too young to be in here 'Boy'!"
:)
at 18:48 on February 25th, 2009
Fred, I can just see myself there...
(Oh, and I stopped drinking strong coffee a year ago. Cigarettes are also (nearly) off limits. S*** happens....)
Playing guitar and drinking Jack D are still functioning though lol!!!
Yip!
at 22:56 on February 25th, 2009
Nice Post Fripouille. Well written.
at 01:57 on February 26th, 2009
Thank you Paschen, that's very kind of you.....
at 08:37 on February 26th, 2009
Ha! Excellent! "Kid-life crisis!
You know, I don't know if I ever went through a mid-life crisis. I mean I'm happier now than I've ever been, and certainly much happier than I was in my twenties/thirties! No idea why, maybe it has to do with coming to terms with oneself....or trying to at least :)
Thanks Agent..
at 08:43 on February 26th, 2009
Thanks! Feeling tired on the subway...kinda nice feeling in a way....
at 18:26 on February 26th, 2009
Loved this older man; seen on a Sydney bus.. I'm calling him 'bus geezer 1'. I hope one day to be as old, and still fit enough to travel.
Been photographing since primary school. Now, with small digicams and ones built into mobile phones (my backup brain, goes everywhere with me), there's a lot less of the 'the things you see when you don't have a camera'.
Epacris has contributed a photo to this story.
at 09:11 on February 27th, 2009
So that's Sydney! Thanks for your contribution..and I hope BG1 is doin' ok!
Film or digital, that's a good photo!