How to escape a bad conversation

You’re waiting in the buffet line at a networking event. The person in front of you turns your way, introduces himself, and starts talking. At first you make an effort: eye contact, handshake, chit chat. But as your new best friend continues to talk, incessantly -about everything from his latest big sale to how his new puppy isn’t yet potty trained, you are losing interest.

Harry HumDrum continues his ramblings as you smile pleasantly, nod occasionally, and gesture toward the plates, all the while trying to think of a way to escape the inane, and seemingly endless, conversation of the talkative stranger next to you. What do you do?

'I didn't want to be rude':

At times like these, it’s hard not to throw etiquette out the window, turn your back and just walk away. This sounds easy but it’s really not. For whatever reason, even when we are not at all interested in what someone else might have to say, we feel obligated to stand there and listen.

 

This is especially true in networking situations where most everyone is nervous about making an approach. It seems harsh to reject someone who works up the courage to strike up a conversation.

Some of those confident communicators are bound to be boring. Some of them will do all the talking and no listening. And some will probably take liberties such as asking you questions that are way too personal or divulging way too much about themselves.

Exit strategies:

Because good manners dictate that being dismissive or interrupting the talker is rude, it’s useful to learn how to make a graceful exit from unwanted conversations for example:

Take advantages of opportunities to get away. For example, if someone says, “Are you waiting for someone?” or “Am I keeping you from something?” say “Yes, and I should probably go find her, nice meeting you!” or, “Actually, I have to get to another event, enjoy your evening!” and get out of there.

If you are sitting, stand. If you are standing still, move backward. If you are holding a drink, put it down. Use nonverbal cues to send a message that you need to go and/or to provoke the speaker into giving you an opportunity to get away.

As soon as there is a break in the conversation or you have a turn to speak, extend your hand for an exit handshake and say, “Excuse me, but I have to ______” or, “It was a pleasure meeting you….” Or, “I’d really like to hear more about ______, but I promised to be home early”. Even if you have to interrupt the other person, do so. Then smile, extend your hand, offer a business card, thank the person for their time, and say good-bye.

If you are not leaving the event but just want to leave the conversation, say something like, “Well, I should let you mingle/get a drink/etc, maybe I’ll see you later”, and make your exit. Move as you are speaking to let the other person know that you are really leaving and not just talking about leaving.