How to Deal With Feelings of Jealousy and Insecurity About Past Relationships

Unless you are in your very first relationship with someone who's in their
very first relationship, you're going to have to deal with your feelings and
your partner's feelings about previous relationships. Most of us get to this
stage before we're out of high school, but no one has bothered to tell us how to
deal with the vast array of emotions that surface because of these previous
relationships.

What happens when these feelings are negative and self destructive?

First serious relationship or tenth serious relationship, feelings of
jealousy and insecurity can cause a lot of stress. These are feelings of
wanting to control the other person. We all want to subtly, and some
times directly, control other people - our friends, our parents, our boyfriends,
our co-workers. We want to make them do, act, and say the things that we feel is
best.

How to Deal With Jealousy and Insecurity

The easiest solution is to try to let go and understand that you
simply can't control another person. You can love them, and they can love you,
but you simply cannot ever control them and make them act the way you want them
to. This is an illusion that has shattered countless relationships.

One of the biggest underlying problems troubling relationships today
is that people feel like they "own" their partner. This is the real reason
behind fear, anger, jealousy, insecurity, and similar types of feelings. The
best thing to do is to just allow other people to be themselves and love them
for who they are and not who you want them to be.

Jealousy and Insecurity About Past Relationships

It doesn't matter who he or she has been with before. It's those decisions
and those relationships that have made your partner the person you're in love
with today. In the same respect, it's your experiences, or lack of experiences
that make you the person that your partner loves today.

Live your lives together, enjoy each other today, and be happy on your
journey together.

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