Husky Canadian is Surprise Winner in Miss Universe Pageant

by Lcantu | August 16, 2006 at 12:20 pm
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Husky Canadian is Surprise Winner in Miss Universe Pageant

Husky Canadian is Surprise Winner in Miss Universe Pageant

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Los Angeles (Digital Dementia News Services) - In a stunning upset, Miss Canada walked down the catwalk wearing the winner’s crown in the 2006 Miss Universe beauty pageant held in Los Angeles. There was an audible gasp followed by stunned silence in Shrine Auditorium when Miss Canada, Celine “Butch” Cassidy of Edmonton, Alberta, was named the winner of the annual beauty pageant.


Although she grew up and attended high school in Edmonton, “Butch” was born in Detroit, Michigan in 1985 and moved to Edmonton with her family in 1991.


“I love Edmonton!” said the bubbly Miss Cassidy. “I’m so proud to be able to represent my adopted home province of Alberta and Canada.”


Not everyone seemed thrilled at having the beefy Celine “Butch” Cassidy representing Canada at the pageant or to see her win the beauty crown.


“Represent Canada, my ass!” was the official word from Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. “Canada has enough of an image problem as it is. We don’t need a hulking steroid-crazed, diesel-powered freak of nature representing Canada. Too many people already think Canadians spend all their time drinking Molsons while toting their walrus laden canoes across the tundra. This won’t help.”


While her victory certainly came as a surprise to most, even her critics are prepared to admit that she put on a dazzling performance in the talent competition.


“She has an excellent singing voice. I thought her stirring rendition of “When a Man Loves a Woman” was powerful and emotive,” said pageant judge Martina Navratilova.


Predictably enough, Simon Cowell of American Idol Fame who was also one of the judges of the Miss Universe competition didn’t like her singing. Simon later remarked, “Her singing was atrocious and wholly inappropriate. When I closed my eyes and listened to her throaty baritone I would have sworn it was Barry White singing.”


The first runner-up, Miss Lichtenstein, would only say, “I think she intimidated the judges. I think they voted for her out of fear of reprisals.”


Some tend to agree with Miss Lichtenstein. Miss Cassidy’s so-called “light-hearted” comments directed at the judges at the end of her interview “you’ll vote for me if you suckas know whass good for you!” seemed to have been taken to heart if the looks on the faces of the terrified judges is any indication.


Despite her busy schedule as the reigning Miss Universe, Celine “Butch” Cassidy says she will find time to accommodate her scheduled appearances on Wrestle Mania.

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4blueeyes

http://www.missuniverse.com/missuniverse/index.html


 


Surely this is in jest?

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