'I'm going straight to heaven'

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'I'm going straight to heaven'

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uploaded by Barry Artiste

Opinion
Barry Artiste, Now Public Contributor

Evangelists believe the "Bigger the Hair", the closer to God for thee, nothing could be truer than Tammy Faye Baker.  Tammy as you may remember was a  Alice Cooper Mascara wearing wanna be "Big Hair Matriarch" of the Bible Thumping Set, whose crash and burn 130 million dollar PTL (Pass the Loot) Ministry of the 80's was fraught with scandal from her Hubby Jim Baker ministering his own brand of evangelical "Hide the Weenie" justice with ladies of questionable morals to tax shelters, as well as ensuring their flock , mostly the elderly who gave away their life's savings to maintain the Bakers über rich lifestyle in order to reserve a place in Heaven alongside "Jaysus". 

In Ending
Tammy immediately changed her ways after witnessing her husband crying hysterically like a schoolgirl at an N'Sync concert as he was led away in handcuffs to prison.
Tammy soon found financial opportunities in a new man with money to maintain her lifestyle of mascara and big hair while she went on the road  trying to atone for her sins.  To some donors who became destitute, it was too little, too late.

Final Thought
Tammy's belief that her fate is up to God and that "she is going straight to heaven", may find herself sitting "Outside Heavens waiting Room" for a long, long time until other Scandal ridden "Big Hair notables" one day arrive, such as Ernest Angley, Jimmy Swaggart, Benny Hinn,John Wesley Fletcher, Darlene Bishop,Ted Haggard, Kent Hovind, Jim Whittington, Randall Radic,
Robert Tilton, and lest we not forget her raping deviant ex hubby Jimmay Baker and the list goes on.  

Once all these Evangalists are all together, God in his infinite wisdom will give them a collective "Bitch Slap" and try and pass them off to Satan, who will immediately go into hiding as even Satan has his limits.