Jonah and the Whale

I mean I don't think the bible reports God created Adam a McDonald's and a Lamborghini. I think I recall something about leaves covering nakedness and hunting for food - but, heathen that I am, I may be wrong.

So the conversation then evolved (pun intended) about the "truth" of the bible. My husband was angry that I was trying to disprove the bible in front of the boys. I argued I was only proving that the bible is not always meant to be taken literally. The bible provides lessons that we are to learn from. I equated it to my son with the story of the boy who cried wolf. We learn a lesson from that story while knowing that it is indeed just a story.

So I asked the kids and the husband about the story of Noah and the Ark. How could Noah have taken all the animals two by two onto the ark? Wouldn’t the lions have eaten the antelope and the coyotes the bunnies? Why didn't Noah get asphyxiated by a boa constrictor? How did they all fit - was the Ark that big? Both boys seemed to contemplate this. My husband asked me whether it says in the bible that Noah actually took ALL the animals. Which led me to another point - either Noah had to have taken all the animals that are alive today, or, some species must have EVOLVED into other species? Nevertheless, I took it upon myself to look up this particular passage in el bibulo (Genesis 6-8) and happened to read that Noah did all this when he was 600 years old (critics: I know that you can interpret 600 years-old many ways, but bear with me here). This revelation only added fuel to the fire: an already ludicris story made even more so by the geriatricness of its hero.