Chicks Dig the Tights: Real-Life Superheroes

by Jordan Yerman | January 16, 2008 at 04:38 am

1924 views | 21 Recommendations | 8 comments

There's a fantasy element to dressing up and fighting crime, but a serious, deep pissed-off-ness also has to be present. After all, Batman is just a guy who was dissatisfied with the status quo who built a bunch of bat-stuff and rolled through the streets of Gotham. In tights.

Geist strides boldly into the lobby—a cramped, noisy room where kids and adults mill about chatting—and heaves his stuffed paper bags onto the counter. "I have some groceries to donate," he tells Dean, the blond-bearded security guard on duty, whose placid expression suggests superheroes pop in on a regular basis. "And I have an hour on the meter if there's anything I can do to help out."

Wendy Darst, the volunteer coordinator, looks taken aback but gladly puts the superhero to work. Soon the Jade Justice finds himself hip-deep in a supply closet, piling books into a red Radio Flyer wagon. He wheels it back to the lobby, entreating the children to select a text. But the kids seem more interested in peppering him with questions. "So are you a cowboy or something?" one boy asks.

Geist kneels down to reply with a camera-ready grin, "Maybe a super-secret, space-cowboy detective!"

Another kid, awed by the uniform, just stares silently. "Hi," Geist says with a smile, holding out his hand in greeting. "I'm a real-life superhero."

Holy vigilante, Batman! These guys and gals are really out there. Perhaps most famous is Angle Grinder Man (whom I've referenced before), who has dedicated himself to battling wheel-clamps, and the sometimes-dodgy firms that utilize them.

Focusing not on alien invasions, interdimensional duels, or preventing nuclear annhilation, these folks deal with the workaday injustices that you and I walk past without thinking twice. Take Indianapolis' own Doktor DiscorD and Mr. Silent:

hi,i’m a superhero…..seriously.

some friends and i have become tired of the muggers, rapists, and general riff raff causing problems in our city.

this is not a joke.

we’ve started a group called the Justice Society of Justice (offering twice the Justice as the leading competitors) and we go out and fight crime on a semi nightly basis.

we’ve only got about 8 hardcore members that go out with us right now,but we’re hoping to raise that number tenfold.

recently,some japanese street fashion kids have found our myspace pages and added us..so within 3 days we’ve had roughly 3-4 japanese weirdo kids adding us per hour…japan seems much more accepting of this concept than the states.

originally,we just thought it’d be funny to go out as superheroes and “fight crime” as a sort of street theater…but after the first hour and the sheer exhilaration of it all,we completely changed our mind. there are real problems,and no one wants to deal with them. some one has to do something.

Mexico has its own super-hero as well, called Superbarrio:

"I opened my eyes and found myself as you see me with a voice telling me, 'You are Superbarrio,'" he said, explaining that his name means super-neighborhood. "I can't stop a plane or a train single-handed, but I can keep a family from being evicted."

His true identity remains a mystery, masked behind his quirky outfit. By day, he's a street vendor, but at any time he can squeeze into the flashy tights to fend off evil. Little else is known about the masked man, fitting of a true superhero.

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His role is primarily symbolic as the protector of low-income neighborhoods. But on behalf of squatters and labor unions, Superbarrio leads protest rallies, files petitions and challenges court decisions.

These guys and gals have their very own Edna Mode: Michael Brinatte, who began his superhero-costuming career by building an insect mask for an Italian vigilante.

[q
url="http://articles.citypages.com/2008-01-16/feature/superheroes-in-real-life/2/"]Most
Reals use a combination of martial arts and weaponry. The Eye is a
49-year-old crimebuster from Mountain View, California, who wears a
Green Hornet-inspired fedora and trench coat. Though he focuses mainly
on detective work and crime-tip reporting, he prepares himself for
hand-to-hand combat by studying kung fu and wielding an arsenal of
light-based weapons designed to dazzle enemies.

"In movies, a ninja will have some powder or smoke to throw at you
to distract," he explains. "That's essentially what I'm trying to do."

All superheroes have origins, and The Eye is no exception. He grew
up tinkering with electronic gadgetry, first with his dad, then in the
employ of a Silicon Valley company (he's reluctant to say which one).
The Eye considers himself "on-duty" at all times, so when a co-worker
started pimping fake Rolex watches to others in his office, the Paragon
of Perception sprang into action. He went into work early, snuck into
the watch-monger's office to locate the stash of counterfeit
merchandise, and then dropped a dime to Crimestoppers. Ultimately,
police wouldn't prosecute unless The Eye revealed his secret identity—a
concession he was unwilling to make—but he nonetheless chalks it up as
a victory. "We stopped him from doing this," The Eye says. "He knows
someone's watching."[/q]