Exclusive Swingers - Are You CHEATING On Your Swinger Friends? (Video)

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Are You Cheating On Your Swinger Friends?

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Exclusivity is not what you typically think of when you talk about
the swinger lifestyle. Few in the swinger community would consider it
cheating to play with multiple couples and partners without consulting
them. It’s important to remember that swinging is largely about expanding an individual or a couple’s sex lives, and not usually about extending the romantic circle. 

What about polyamory?

Some consider polyamory to be a more enlightened approach to swinging,
though it’s really a very different animal. With polyamory, a couple
will actually expand their love and romantic relationship to truly
include others, not just for the occasional fun and sexual fantasies.

For many, the idea of swinging is really a stretch… polyamory is
even more so because we’re no longer talking about being committed to a
single person. 

Can you expect an exclusive relationship with another couple?

People are interesting in their expectations, and since we’re all
unique, nothing is really too far fetched to be expected. Think about
an exclusive relationship between two people. It slowly evolves from
the casual meeting, a few dates, and eventually exclusivity where
you’re no longer seeing other people.

It’s entirely possible for two couples to also become close over
time, and for some of the players to develop closer feelings for each
other. In this case it’s definitely possible for one couple to get
jealous when the other couple sees other people. No, it’s not the
regular traditional lifestyle experience, but it definitely does happen
on occasion.

And when it does…

Don’t talk with your family about your sex life and your exotic sexual fantasies

It’s always great to share our lives with our loved ones… not just our romantic partners, but also our blood families.

BUT… this can sometimes lead to problems, especially when we’re
talking about parts of our lives that are not viewed as "acceptable" or
"mainstream" by some segments of society.

This can happen when parents share intimate details of their sex
lives with their grown children, as well as those same grown children
sharing with their parents.

At first this seems to go against what we normally believe in, but
stay with us here. Countless fights and arguments start when people
share too much about their sex lives with their families.

We’re generally very adamant on having very open and honest
communication in relationships, whether those are romantic
relationships, family relationship, or friend relationships.

However… we are not yet evolved and enlightened enough as a society,
where your family (i.e. your parents, siblings) can have an open and
honest discussion with you about your sex life and sexual preferences without judging you and without digressing into some type of fight or argument.

Hopefully our society will evolved to this point in the coming
years, but by an large we’re just not there yet. Certainly there are
some exceptions to this (as there are to anything based on a standard
deviation), but if you want to play it safe - keep your sex life
between you and your partner.

SO… Should you demand and exclusive relationship with another
couple??  Shat what can you do if you’ve shared your dilemma with your
family and they’re going nuts? 

Here’s a question from a couple in Maryland facing this very frustrating problem…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband and I have now experienced swinging with two different
couples. The first happened slowly over a long period of time with a
couple that we were very close to. The second couple we found through a
swinging website. We met them a few times to get to know each other and
then met them for a sexual encounter. Ever since then, things have been
a mess. We shared with the first couple that we had been with the
second couple. They did not handle it well at all. They felt hurt and
betrayed, especially the woman, whom I am extremely close to. I thought
that our friendship was in jeopardy. I ended up talking to my father
about how upset I was about this problem that I was having with my
friend. I ended up telling him about my swinging experiences- BIG
MISTAKE! He was very upset and my stepmother, who he told, was even
more upset. So, my husband and I are finding a way to rebuild our
relationship with the first couple, minus the sex. I am working through
things with my dad. My stepmother is still concerned that we are going
to rot in hell. With all of this happening, I am really struggling with
the idea of swinging again. My husband wants to, of course. I am
seriously struggling with whether it is immoral and sinful. Besides,
with everything that has happened, I don’t have a good feeling about
preceding forward. How can I make my husband understand this? He is
extremely disappointed that I am not interested in continuing to swing,
at least for now, and maybe forever. I know that this is long and
complicated, but I am really in need of some advice. Please respond.
Thanks.

– Jennifer, Maryland

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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