Gumballs: Tiny Terror Devices?
After reading this, please let us know if you laughed or cried...
Three Dover officials say they've found a serious homeland security threat to chew on: gumballs.
They worry the colorful round treats could be poisoned by an enterprising terrorist who sees them as bait for unsuspecting targets -- young kids.
So, with the approval of the mayor and the skepticism of the police chief in this central Morris County town of 18,000, the three aldermen are in the middle of a nine-month inspection of Dover's coin-operated gumball and candy machines. Thus far, they have surveyed 103 local businesses about their machines.
Led by Alderman Frank Poolas, who envisioned the project and enlisted the aid of fellow Aldermen Jack Delaney and Michael Picciallo, the trio began their investigation six months ago and plan to report their results to Mayor James Dodd Jan. 1.
Already they say they've discovered more than 100 unlicensed coin-operated machines in town -- many filled with gumballs, jawbreakers and other candies they call perfect for potential terrorists.
The security threat should be "looked at seriously in light of what has happened so far," said Poolas. "Someone who wanted to do harm really could."
I wouldn't want to have law enforcement officials who are that cripplingly paranoid. Security guru Bruce Schneier is a bit more blunt:
This is simply too stupid for words.