Gumballs: Tiny Terror Devices?

by Jordan Yerman | October 14, 2007 at 03:15 pm
613 views | 12 Recommendations | 2 comments

Photos

Gumball Machine

Gumball Machine

see larger image

uploaded by ejhorowitz

After reading this, please let us know if you laughed or cried...

Three Dover officials say they've found a serious homeland security threat to chew on: gumballs.

They worry the colorful round treats could be poisoned by an enterprising terrorist who sees them as bait for unsuspecting targets -- young kids.

So, with the approval of the mayor and the skepticism of the police chief in this central Morris County town of 18,000, the three aldermen are in the middle of a nine-month inspection of Dover's coin-operated gumball and candy machines. Thus far, they have surveyed 103 local businesses about their machines.

Led by Alderman Frank Poolas, who envisioned the project and enlisted the aid of fellow Aldermen Jack Delaney and Michael Picciallo, the trio began their investigation six months ago and plan to report their results to Mayor James Dodd Jan. 1.

Already they say they've discovered more than 100 unlicensed coin-operated machines in town -- many filled with gumballs, jawbreakers and other candies they call perfect for potential terrorists.

The security threat should be "looked at seriously in light of what has happened so far," said Poolas. "Someone who wanted to do harm really could."

I laughed. Okay, a healthy sense of suspicion is fine, times being what they are, but come on.

I wouldn't want to have law enforcement officials who are that cripplingly paranoid. Security guru Bruce Schneier is a bit more blunt:

This is simply too stupid for words.



Advertisement
recommend This comment thread is now closed
dysamoria
dysamoria
flagged this story as Good Stuff

at 06:47 on October 17th, 2007

jordan, I like this story. It's good stuff.

because you, and Bruce Schneier, are totally right. This kind of waste of money, time, effort, etc., should be ridiculed by bringing it to light in public display. This is what could be described as "Terrorists Winning." If we become nations of "Senator Macarthies," we will have lost all sense of proportion and ... well, sense. i am an anti-conspiracy-theorist person, myself, even though i AM paranoid (look at what i've been going through - nuff said). Still, if we really wanted to go totally bonkers, we could list a million and three other seemingly harmless things that could be targets for terrorists. Should we not assault and investigate them ALL?  Like NOW??

Investigating something based on evidence is good. Investigating something on reasonable suspicion is okay. Investigating something out of sheer paranoia and ... well, the popularity of "fighting terrorism" is just... simply bad.

i get accused of being a lowlife by my "terrorist" at flickr because i have a disability and would like accommodation. You know the old meme: you're wasting our tax dollars (and he's not even a citizen of my country). What i fail to comprehend is why people don't have more animosity for stupidity of the organizations and institutions doing things like this gumball investigation because they are using money that a disabled person could live a year off of, forget the disability check's measely amount. Inspecting gumball machines, doing record searches of who is licensed to have them or not, doing lab work on the contents... that's bound to be expensive busy work for someone that needs to justify their position...

thanks for posting this, Jordan. i do have one question, which i would ask in forums if i could actually figure out how to post: what is the copyright rule around here? From my investigations of copyright law in the USA (my location), you can cite things, and you can do excerpts but not use more than a certain percentage (which i cannot remember now and it may differ in Canada... 'cause Canada is actually another country and all that...). i've seen entire stories posted. Even though they are attributed, i still find it confusing based on what i understood from my copyright law reading of a year or two ago (and believe me, i have no desire to dive back into those pages at the moment).

babblingdweeb
babblingdweeb
flagged this story as Good Stuff

at 10:31 on October 19th, 2007

Good stuff.

I think the best part is: why would some terrorists want to  poison gum balls of a town of 18,000? I mean, I think there are more constructive ways to terrorize people. Than again, it would make people say "if it could happen to them...it could happen to any of us!!" --yawn.

I laughed :) 

This story was created over 3 months ago, the comment thread is now closed.

NowPublic on Facebook

What is NowPublic?

NowPublic lets people work together to cover news events around the world.

Find out more

Crowd Power

dysamoria
First Flagged at 6:47 AM, Oct 17, 2007 by dysamoria
These members have powered this story:

Most Recommended Stories in Strange

 

closeSign in to NowPublic

is reporting from