Sushi Wins Cardboard Tube Fighting Championships

(10-28) 20:42 PDT San Francisco -- Before beginning San Francisco's inaugural Cardboard Tube Fighting Championship on Sunday afternoon, the event's organizer, Robert Easley, instructed all participants to sign a waiver form.

"Folks! Need you to sign this paper just in case your head gets cut off," the 27-year-old Easley of San Francisco told a group gathered at Justin Herman Plaza who in turn laughed. "Seriously. That's actually in the release form."

Risks, according to the form, "include but are not limited to the loss of eye(s), decapitation, impalement, bloody lips, bruises, welts, paralysis and/or death."

With that, about 75 computer programmers, elementary school-age children and bored passers-by, among others, signed up to spend the next two hours kicking the cardboard out of each other.

In the end, no one was decapitated, and Aline Xayasouk, a petite 20-year-old Berkeley woman dressed up as a piece of sushi, was declared cardboard fighting champion.

The object of the game was simple: Easley handed participants yardlong cylinders of cardboard. They dueled in pairs until one of the tubes broke. Rules included no stabbing, no hitting in the face and no blocking with anything other than cardboard.

"People take life too seriously," said Easley's friend Julian Cash, who helped organize the event to remedy that problem. "If you're not having fun, it damages your soul."

The participants did what they could to damage one another's cardboard armor. Some dressed as robots, some as knights. Others just showed up in duct-tape jobs.

"I'm here to beat the cardboard hell out of young children," said Sol Vazquez, a 29-year-old businessman from San Bruno dressed as "Count Sexula." His armor included a velvet cape, satin rose necklace, mixed martial arts gloves, afro wig and an intimidating plastic crotch cup.

Within 45 seconds, Count Sexula was also the tournament's first loser, after holding up an impotent tube destroyed by a ninja.

The cardboard fights were divided into about three rounds and held in the brick and concrete area of the plaza. Fights lasting longer than 45 seconds were usually due to wimpy defensive tactics and were frowned upon by several hundred spectators.

The crowd demanded action. The loudest cheers went to children like 8-year-old Grayson Gerhard of Bernal Heights, who defeated opponents nearly three times his size by whaling away with passion.

Ominous clouds formed overhead as the competition closed in on the final two participants, "Sushi" (Xayasouk) and "The Knight" (29-year-old Rachel McConnell), whose cardboard was adorned with the Fruit of the Loom logo.

The sudden-death round lasted nearly 10 minutes, and the crowd overwhelmingly supported Sushi. They shouted "Sake to her!" and "Open up a can of wasabi on her!"

As the saying goes, defense wins championships, and Sushi was declared winner with the help of a cutout cardboard shield. In honor of her victory, Easley awarded Sushi the cardboard-made Heaven's Will trophy "valued at well over a dollar."

Before the crowd dispersed, Easley asked all to sign one more form.

"I've got a petition here to make cardboard tube fighting an Olympic sport," said Easley.