Living Australopithecine Woman Spotted on Alabama Beach!

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Living Australopithecine Woman Spotted on Alabama Beach!

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Orange Beach, Alabama (Digital Dementia News Services) - A living australopithecine woman has been spotted on the beaches of Alabama. The startling discovery was made during the break time of a conference of paleontologists and anthropologists being held in nearby Gulf Shores.

We were having some beers, discussing anthropological matters and, of course, girl watching when this truly unique woman strolled by,” said Dr. Roger Turnbull of the University of Alabama. “One of our colleagues managed to get a photograph. We were all absolutely speechless.”

Not everyone agrees that the woman in the photograph is australopithecine.

“Come one, give me a break!” remarks skeptic Dr. Harold Penrose, chairman of the anthropology department at Georgia Tech. “Everybody knows the australopithecines became extinct some two and a half million years ago. What the fuck would an australopithecine woman be doing vacationing on the U.S. Gulf Coast in the 21st century? I think the woman in the photograph is just a foreign tourist. I’m betting she will be found soon at one of the local hotels and we’re going to find out she’s from France or something. She shouldn’t be that hard to find. I’ve never smelled anything like that in my life!”

Others remained undecided about the woman. Dr. Gerald Smithers, professor emeritus of anthropology at Louisiana State University said more evidence was needed. “She could be an australopithecine. Then again she could just be a gal from Biloxi who desperately needs a body waxing."

"Either way, I would desperately love to meet her." remarked Dr. Robert Boseman of Vanderbilt as he cracked open another beer and took his turn on prehistoric snatch lookout. "I thought she was ferociously hot!”