midnightjester's Channel

Jester does not hail from anywhere in particular. In fact Jester doesn't play well with people who 'hail' from places as opposed to just being born there. He does not think that being pretentious right from birth is likely to result in a stable personality.

Jester does not have a stable personality and in fact claims never to have been near a stable in his life, the rumours are untrue and the photos were doctored...

Jester occasionally resorts to crap puns. Jester lists under his strengths: "Never owned an ant farm," and dislikes intensely people who do (doesn't everyone).

Jester likes dogs and cats because they never contradict him but only likes humans who do. He likes a good fight but not the physical kind because blood is hell to shift. His response to physical attack is: fall over and wait till they go away. Failing that drop a hand grenade and run like hell (there is seldom violence when all around you are united by common purpose).

Jester likes money but not people who love money. "Money is mean, not an end," he is heard to say. We suspect he doesn't know what he means either but he likes to make obscure statements. Jester is only moderately good; At punctuation. Editor needed.

Jester likes praise from complete strangers as he never gets any from the people who actually know him. He has taken to receiving insults as compliments instead and has "you're a weird plonker" right at the top of the list of nice things to say to people. "You have a weird plonker" is right at the bottom.

Jester doesn't like war or fishing, placing them on the same approximate level of mental activity. Of the two he considers war the lesser evil because although people die at least it's easier to sit through a television program about it.

Jester thinks people who like hunting are thick and bloodthirsty except when they are pointing a big gun at him. Then he thinks they are (and I quote):

\"trulyfantasticwonderfulhumanbeings.\"

Jester likes a drink now and then. Usually when presented with the choice of a television program on fishing or another on war when he specifically had dodged work that afternoon and it's too rainy and wet outside to go swimming...

Jester believes fervently that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. He also believes the same people should either lose weight or send him their shower schedule as the last time he caught a glimpse he found himself paralysed all down one side for the rest of the day and still wakes up screaming after falling gently asleep in front of the fishing program.

Jester hates people who talk about themselves in the third person.

Rantings, musings and random thoughts on:

www.midnightjester.wordpress.com/