Mother Teresa: Dark Nights

     "What do I labour for? If there be no God — there can be no soul — if there is no Soul then Jesus — You also are not true") are the only two that sound any note of doubt of God's existence. But she frequently bemoaned an inability to pray: "I utter words of Community prayers — and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give — But my prayer of union is not there any longer — I no longer pray."

                                                                                                                        Mother Teresa

     Mother Teresa was a digitalized media created "Saint" and the example of a good Catholic and the compassion and caring of a selfless soul. Her lone venture to the slums of Calcutta were embraced by the Catholic Church and  the "Sisters of Charity" became in effect a corporation. With Mother Teresa as it's poster "Saint" both money and support soon came rolling in. The height of the corporations achievements pinnacled in Mother Teresa receiving the "Nobel Peace Prize." I really don't have the means or time to check the financial records of all the millions that were funneled into the lives of poverty ridden people in Calcutta. But, I do believe it would be of interest to see how much money was generated and where that money went. Mainly because I am certain that today the wealth of Calcutta could not support keeping the Popes wardrobe for a year.

     Now, as is the way of Media and the Corporate Conspiracy, that made divine must be brought down to the level of the rest of struggling humanity. Sister Teresa began her work in 1959--that was 48 years ago.Now and only now (after her demise) is it revealed that all was not so saintly after all. The depths of her doubt going into whether there was even a "soul" much less a Creator God or Jesus of the Cross.  Ironically, the book which reveals the darkness of her struggle is titled, "Come be a Light." The phrase she heard the Jesus she doubted existed say in her calling to minister to the poor of Calcutta. Another quote is in order here.

     "The smile is a mask or a cloak that covers everything. I spoke as if my very
heart was in love with God, a tender personal love. If you were there you would
have said, 'What hypocrisy'." (Mother Teresa)

     So okay--WHAT IS THE TRUTH??? Hypocrisy or Faith? I can not accept that Mother Teresa  misunderstood the words she used in this letter. Raised in the Dogma of the Catholic Church all her life she must of understood the implications of what it meant to be a hypocrit. Someone who claims to be one thing but yet is another. A little research should show this was an honest protest to her Media and life handlers who used her to the utmost as the "icon" of charity.

     This is an example of abject surrender, on the part of the church, to the forces of showbiz, superstition, and populism.She took misappropriated money from the atrocious Duvalier family in Haiti (whose rule she praised in return) and from Charles Keating of the Lincoln Savings and Loan. Where did that money, and all the other donations, go? The primitive hospice in Calcutta was as run down when she died as it always had been—the state of the peoples poverty and health care was only barely better than 1959, and she preferred California clinics when she got sick herself. As to the proceeds of the millions of dollars a year, her order always refused to publish any audit. But we have her own claim that she opened 500 convents in more than a hundred countries, all bearing the name of her own order. So much for modesty and humility?

       The truth is out there, but subtle and twisted. By quoting the media buzz am I only aiding the Corporate Conspiracy in destroying any concept of hope and goodness? We are in desperate need of seperating delusion from reality in this country. We are desperately mind controlled and brain-washed by a massive Corporate Head that despises any selfless act or icon of integrity. It despises anything that would truly make us as individuals become independent thinkers. It is my humble opinion that Teresa's true struggle was the validity of being used by unscrupulous handlers for their own purposes she knew well to be hypocritical. Perhaps she measured what good it would do in the end so that the means could be justified. In the secrets of her own thought I believe she was raging against what I and all others should rage against--a heartless world that knows no motive but personal gain and greed. WAKE UP< NEO--the Matrix has you!