One in four high schoolers plans to buy iPhone, become a star, move out of this crummy town and see the world

NICK DOUGLAS -- One in four high schoolers would drop $500 on an iPhone, according to a poll by banking firm Piper Jaffray. Ahem. As a recovering ex-teen (on the wagon for three years as of Tuesday), let me channel the psychology of a high schooler. I am told about a hip product that will elevate you among my peers. I am asked to speculate, in a consequence-free context, whether I would spend my next two McDonald's paychecks on this product. I will tell you "sure." And I'll probably tell you my plan to get my own car, man. Yeah, and an apartment, cause I'm sick of Mom and Dad. Totally, man, totally.