Hillary’s Curse: Cankles

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Hillary’s Curse: Cankles

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uploaded by BigT

I was one of those people who just didn’t understand how Hillary
Clinton could be so mean and vicious to everyone that didn’t bow down
to her every whim. Maybe, I thought, it is because her husband sleeps
around. But that couldn’t be why because she had to know about this
decades ago. Maybe, I thought further, is has to do with the fact that
she isn’t the one in power when she deserves it the most. Still short
because, let’s face it, she had loads of power as First Lady and has a
ton of power in the Senate. And then last Sunday I twisted my ankle and
realized what makes her so G-darned grumpy.

When I twisted my ankle I was hurt a little bit but I joked with the
two guys from the other team that helped me off the field. When I got
into the dugout (this was at a baseball game) I joked with some old
friends about whether or not I was going to get voted in as an All Star
after playing for only two pitches. I stayed for the whole game keeping
score in the scorebook and had a good time considering the
circumstances. After the game I hobbled to my car and came home and
then things started to change.

I took my shoes off and it revealed what a family member referred to
as a “chubby” ankle. At first it didn’t bother me because, well, it was
“chubby.” I would have preferred swollen since my ankles are normally
well sculptured pieces of art but it didn’t bother me. And then the
next day she called the swollen ankle “chubby” again. This time I tried
to correct her but then others joined in. Everyday since then I have
had this “chubby” ankle that has gone from being light purple to what
looks like purple-black. The pain is still there but that isn’t what is
bothering me anymore. What is really pissing me off the most is that my
family says I have a “chubby” ankle.

Already reaching the end of my fuse, which is admittedly short, they
decided to unleash their coup de gras. It is now a cankle. Now I have
started yelling at everyone and verbally assaulting anyone who even
comes close to belittling me. My fuse is gone and everyone has been a
victim of my wordy wrath. I’ve made fun of other’s foot irregularities
and am generally more curt with all my answers to everyone. Then I
realized that this is what Hillary has to deal with everyday of her
life.

Just imagine it. You are this disgusting freak show of a woman who
walks around with these grotesque stubs adorned by little phalanges.
Everyday you toddle along in your plain pant suits hoping no one sees
your dark secret. Everyday you live with the fear of being put down for
something that is so ridiculously unimportant, something that could
dash away all your hopes and dreams. Because you know, deep down
inside, that cankles kill all credibility you would otherwise have.

Living with this disfiguration must have pushed this what had to
have been normal girl off the deep end and into the hydra that she has
become. Every inch of ground that she advances needs to be defended
like it is life and death. Always on guard for another joke about her
hapless cankles it is no wonder why she is the way she is.

If my ankle were to forever be a cankle I’m sure my demeanor would
morph into something similar to Hillary’s. I’m just thankful that my
SWOLLEN ankle is already deflating and the cankle is wilting away.
Unfortunately the same cannot be said for Hillary Clinton. She’s going
to have to live with her curse for the rest of her life. Before you put
her down next time think about it this way, if you’re ankles looked
like this

wouldn’t you be irritable all the time too? BigT