Paris Hilton Arrested for Drunk Driving

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Paris Hilton Arrested for Drunk Driving

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Los Angeles - (Digital Dementia News Services) - Paris Hilton was arrested in Los Angeles on suspicion of drunk driving.

“We saw her weaving all over the road,” said L.A.P.D. officer Harmon. “She was incoherent when we pulled her over.”

“That doesn’t prove a damn thing! Paris is always incoherent.” said her lawyer.

“I’m not incoherent!” complained Ms. Hilton, putting on her best pouty face. “I’m Presbyterian.”

“See? What did I tell you?” her lawyer added.

Officer Harmon was quick to note that, “We gave her a field sobriety test and she failed.”

“I didn’t know math was involved,” complained Ms. Hilton.

“She couldn’t get the alphabet straight,” said Officer Harmon, rolling his eyes with disgust.

“I do too know the alphabet!” cried Ms. Hilton. “I know all the letters! I just don’t know them in alphabetical order. Is that really so freakin’ important? So I failed a soberienderty test! So what?”

“We had her take an I.Q. test.” said her lawyer. “The results were negative.”

"Anybody want to see my genitalia?" Paris asked absentmindedly to no one in particular.