“High School Musical” will make you gay

Or so says James Dobson of Focus on the Family.

The old saying that ‘there’s no such thing as bad publicity, as long as they spell your name correctly’ certainly applies to Disney’s hit show. Last week’s internet publication of nude photos of co-star Vanessa Hudgens brought the show a great deal of notoriety, and this stunning analysis by Dr. Dobson will be sure to turn a few heads as well.

“Parents may think it’s very innocent,” said James Dobson of Focus on the Family. “But just watch: one minute they’re watching High School Musical, the next they’re in the front row at Mamma Mia, their hand resting suggestively on a kneecap that’s the same sex as theirs.”

“You’ll notice they don’t even kiss until almost the end of the second movie,” he said. “And even then, their mouths are closed - no tongues.”

Dobson compared musical comedy to a “gateway drug,” saying it’s often the first step on the path to same-sex debauchery. “The studies are clear,” he said, citing in particular a 2004 report by the Kenneth Mehlman Center for Public Affairs showing a clear progression from musical comedy to interior design, and from there to meticulously coiffed hair and a love of colored knit vests (perhaps olive green or burnt orange).

“Within a very short amount of time, even your casual musical comedy viewer is likely to become a flamboyant, family-values-eschewing homosexual,” the report read.