Prison Survival Guide "Conrad Black"

The glossary of prison slang, alone, is worth the price of admission, and it could very well save the multi-syllabic Black from making a grievous error by jumping to the wrong conclusion.

Being called a "peckerwood," for example, might sound insulting but, according to the glossary, it is simply slang for a "white person."

No harm, no foul.

This is not to be confused, however, with "pecker palace," which is slang for the conjugal visiting area. (No private conjugal visits are allowed, however, for federal inmates, or so says the book.)

In this list of slang terms to be memorized are "attitude adjustments" (physical assaults), "boofs" (contraband stored where the sun never shines), "cheese eaters" (informants, rats), "dressed outs" (to be covered in urine and excrement), "fifis" (sex toys), "heart checks" (dangerous acts to prove loyalty), "jodies" (cuckolded male prisoners), "lettuce" (a group of prisoners involved in gang raping), "monsters" (HIV inflected); "pitchers" (dominant males in homosexual liaisons), "road kill" (cigarettes made from discarded butts), "shower hawks" (stalkers looking for victims in showers) ... up to and including "yolks" (well-muscled prisoners.)

There is no slang beginning with the letter Z, at least none since the striped prison zebra uniform went out of style.

Conrad Black and his co-defendants stood charged with ripping off their shareholders to the tune of $60 million.