Queen of the Jungle

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Queen of the Jungle

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SINGAPORE (Digital Dementia News Services) – The Singapore Zoological Society has filed a lawsuit against the San Francisco Zoo alleging the sale of damaged goods and fraudulent misrepresentation.  

At the heart of the controversy is one very confused lion.  

“We have 4 lionesses but no male lion,” explained Wong Xi Lam, a board member with the Singapore Zoological Society.  “One of our lionesses is already menopausal, but of the other 3, two are getting on in years so the clock is ticking.  We needed a male in order to keep our pride of lions going.””  

Apparently, Sssimba, the lion recently purchased from the San Francisco Zoo and transported to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Singapore, has been remiss in his duties and seems to prefer to spend his time trying to persuade zoo keepers to give him an enema. 

“They knew what our needs were, so why did they sell us a gay lion?” muttered a deeply disappointed Wong Xi Lam.  

San Francisco Zoo manager, Morrissss Withersssspoon, defends the sale of Sssimba saying, “… there were no represssentationsss given or warrantiesss made about the sssuitability or fitnesss for purpossse of the lion we sssold to the the Sssingapore zoo.  They asssked for the King of the jungle ssso we sssold them one.  Goodnesss me!  Thisss is sssso ssssilly!”

“King of the jungle my ass!” says Wong Xi Lam.  “We should have known the San Francisco Zoo would send us the flaming Queen of the jungle.  What a waste of fur!  We’re going to change his name from Sssimba to the Queer of the jungle.”