Should Women Be Dressed All in White Like Other Kitchen Appliances?

Photos

Should Women Be Dressed All in White Like Other Kitchen Appliances?

see larger image

uploaded by Lcantu

SACRAMENTO (Digital Dementia News Services) - A spokesman for the California Attorney General’s Office said today that the State of California has successfully petitioned New York for the extradition of Neil French, the outspoken, irreverent and politically incorrect advertising executive.  

Neil French is wanted in California on charges of disparaging women, offending gays and belittling people who speak English with foreign accents. 

“We have always felt that Neil French was a menace to the sensitive, politically correct people of California, but in the interest of freedom of expression, we were previously prepared to turn a hearing-impaired ear toward Mr. French and his outrageous commentary,” said California Attorney General Bill Lockyear.  “We now felt we had no choice but to reconsider our policy of leniency after Mr. French went on record as recommending that women should be “dressed all in white like other kitchen appliances.” 

In 2005 Mr. French outraged many by suggesting at an advertising industry conference that women were “crap” as advertising executives because of their inability to commit themselves 100% to a job and because they were prone to disappearing at critical times and would inevitably “wimp out and go suckle something.” 

Mr. French is also believed to have been the author of the email chains that circulated in the late 1990s extolling the various “reasons why it is better to be a man than a woman.”  Included among these were vicious, cutting rationales like “wrinkles add character” and “same job … more pay.” 

Mr. French appeared on Oprah earlier this year and was asked by the Queen of Yap why he felt compelled to surround himself with beautiful women all of whom are so much younger than he is.  “It’s a simple matter, really,” replied the perennially crude Mr. French.  “It’s just because I have a lot of money and a big bazooka.” 

Mr. French’s remarks were cut from the show before it was aired.   

The California based National Organization for Women has called for Neil French to be “… hunted down like the animal he is, brought to justice and hung by his testicles until he sees the folly of his sexist ways.” 

Neil French is stunned by the outcry his views have generated.  “I really don’t understand what the fuss is all about,” he said.  “What in the world is wrong with male chauvinism?  It’s always worked for me.” 

New York authorities were initially reluctant to hand over Mr. French but eventually yielded to California’s persistent and increasingly whiny petitions for extradition. 

Upon arrival in California, Mr. French will be charged with numerous counts of making rude, politically incorrect statements in a public forum, all of which constitute “hate crimes” in California.  If convicted on all counts, Mr. French could be incarcerated for up to 18 years.