The 10 sure signs you’re playing for the Mets
1. Forget Gatorade. Start getting used to the taste of Crocodile Tears.
2. You have to convince management that a “Bernie Madoff Bobble Head Night” isn’t such a hot idea.
3. It suddenly dawns on you why they call it Flushing.
4. They rename Citi Field YOUR MESSAGE HERE STADIUM.
5. The team’s farm system switches over from player development to organic lettuce.
6. Instead of signs, your catcher uses second hand smoke signals.
7. The pitching coach keeps confusing Altoids with steroids. As a result, the bullpen wins “The Freshest Breath In Baseball Award.”
8. You’ve gone from endorsing cutting edge athletic wear to recommending which flavor of SunnyD goes best with three-day-old hotdogs.
9. The batting coach keeps confusing hemorrhoids with steroids. The umpires ban him from arguing close calls.
10. The ceremony to retire your number turns out to be an identity theft scam.