The dullest game, ever.

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The dullest game, ever.

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CFL week 6 review

Saturday

Saskatchewan 22 @ Calgary 21 (Saskatchewan improves record to 6-0)

Friday

CFL games this season are averaging nearly seventy points per game, a real treat to the few that sputter out to beautiful outdoor stadiums and one indoor baseball diamond at the end of each work week in search of Canada’s unique brand of pigskin mayhem.

This week’s match-up between the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and the Toronto Argonauts on Friday night at the afore mention indoor baseball diamond, the Rogers Centre was polar opposite to the exciting, high scoring, defence free CFL product fans have witnessed thus far in the 2008 season.

Winnipeg 11 @ Toronto 19 (game lowlights)

Quarter 1:

The opening stanza was a less then compelling run-through, which aside from Dominique Dorsey’s 94 yard punt return for a touchdown at the 6:09 mark appeared to be nothing more than a half-contact scrimmage. 12-0 Toronto after 15 minutes.

Quarter 2:

The second quarter had me inching toward the concession area. Perhaps a couple of pints could reverse the monotony? It seemed to be working for others, fans who rather than becoming disengaged with the product on the field, poured their hearts and souls into every booming chant of D, FENCE, D, FENCE and whinny call of ARE-GO’S.

No such luck, I consumed three beers $8.75 a piece for a grand total of $26.75 and at the end of a less then satisfactory second quarter I hand spent $17 dollars more on beer than points had been scored in the quarter. This type of math engrossed me and I instantly began crunching the number and processing the data.

21 points had been scored through two quarters of play, still a complete 5.75 less than I had spent consuming beer throughout the second quarter. That’s when it hit me like an electric shock that traveled up my leg destine for my cerebellum. The beer to point ratio for this game had the potential to get completely out of hand, unless of course a real live CFL game was to breakout thus keeping me entertain and hopefully away from the concessions. 18-3 Argos lead at the half.

Quarter 3:

A new low, a seven-point quarter, three more beers and I’m starting to blame both the Bombers and Argos inept offenses for my perilously drunkin state. [Bomber wide-out Romby Bryant impressed for the second week running accounting for all of the third quarter points when he hauled in an 85-yard touchdown pass from QB Ryan Dinwiddie]. 18-10, q the comeback? Argos’s still lead.

Quarter 4:

There is no storyline here, no gallop to glory, no finishing flare or fourth quarter heroics. Only two measly points, one for each team. Although the final score 19-11 will add another in the win column for the Toronto Argonauts, a football game with three quarters that fail to reach double digits in point's scored has no winners.

End game: Beer Ratio

With an average total hovering right around 70 points per game and the average plastic cup of ale soaring around $8.00, it’s quite safe to say that a CFL fan attending a game could easily consume six or seven pints through the course of a game without succumbing to the all-important beer to point ratio.

Thursday

Hamilton 33 @ Montreal 40 ("Good" football night in Canada)

Hamilton @ Montreal started out in the same lack luster mold Toronto and Winnipeg would set just 24 hours later. The Ti-cats and Alouettes however would find their mojo in the second half recording 47 points to be added to the 26 tallied in the first half to produce a 73-point CFL headbanger.

BC 24 @ Edmonton 35

All 59 points in the Lions, Eskimo’s tilt where evenly spread through the first three quarters before an outburst of 18 unanswered points propelled the Eskimos to the teams fourth win of the season, well locking BC into the western cellar, last place @ 3-3.

Z.B.

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