Truemors
How to make a Todd, Collins, Kicking brown well their down and other strange stories from the
07/08 NFL season.
A season of remarkable achievement for The New England Patriots tarnished by a video scandal
that will forever cast a dark cloud on their accomplishments. Much like the case of Barry Bonds
where baseball purists have insisted that past player where on beer and hotdogs during there glory
years unlike the undeniable performance enchaining concoction of steroid and growth hormones
subscribed to by one Mr Bonds. Cheating just isn’t the same anymore. Football purists and more
likely a nation of Miami Dolphins fans will certainly site the lack of even a single piece of game
footage available to the teams of the past for the study of their opponent other then the possibility
of watching your opponents on broadcast television should they have appeared on Monday night football
in one of the previous weeks. The more relevant issue that I’m sure a younger generation of Dolphin
fans will see all too clearly is the inability of the 72" Dolphins to have had any type of technology
that would allow for the transfer of information during the game. This is a huge advantage that I’m
sure is exploited to some degree by each and every NFL team. Imagine being able to have a spy planted
on your opponents side lines with the ability to pass sensitive information back to the home base
without blowing his cover or risking being caught on both sidelines in one game, imagine the valuable
information a covert spy may have access too on a free flowing NFL sideline. I’d imagine enough
pertinent information to lead one to a perfect 16-0 record.
Sunday, November 25 The Washington Redskins lost their fourth consecutive game to see there
overall record fall to five win and six losses one game under five-hundred a hopelessly out of a
playoff spot. The Skins were fading fast and the performance of hall of fame coach Joe Gibbs
had become a topic of talk radio discussion across the country. November 27 just two days after
losing to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers by just a three-point margin the very foundation of the
Redskins team would be rocked to its core by a shooting and eventual passing of one of its key
members. Twenty-four year old, two time pro-bowler and starting safety for The Washington
Redskins Sean Taylor was the victim of a bizarre shooting that followed a burglary just a week
earlier. Taylor’s passing was greeted with an out pouring of emotion from all those involved with
The Redskins from upper management to the hot dog vendors, fans and even the immortal Joe
Gibbs. The Skins would cap off the darkest week in the franchise history with a botched double
time out called by the afore mentioned Hall of Famer Joe Gibbs. The Skins fell two games below
five-hundred with a heart breaking one point loss to the Buffalo Bills just one day before
attending the funeral of their former comrade at arms, a comrade that had stood shoulder to
shoulder with them on the field of battle.
rally round the family
The Redskins would rally around the loss of their star safety too win the remaining four games
under the guidance of veteran quarterback Todd Collins. The fact that The Skins could come
together following two nail bitting losses and the untimely death of pro-bowl safety Sean
Taylor could only be summed up in on way "a blessing from above." As the entire Redskins team
dawned decals on their jerseys and helmet sporting Sean Taylor #21 for the remaining five games
of the season it became more and more obvious that when The Redskins were losing to The Buffalo Bills
just hours after the passing of their former teammate. Sean Taylor was apparently held up at the
pearly gates. For reasons Paul will one day have to explain to hoards of Skins fans who have made the
trip to the other side. R.I.P. Sean Taylor
I have neither the time nor the space to go into any great detail regarding the downfall of the once proud franchise bearing the name of The Browns. The Cleveland Browns. However anyone with even so much as a passing interest in the NFL is all too aware of the fall of the once mighty Browns. A feared and respected gang in orange famous for heavy duty power football, teeth gashing and hard nose running back (G.O.A.T.) Jim Brown. Oh how the mighty have fallen. The Cleveland Browns have in the last twenty or so years became the laughing stock of the NFL. Excluding of course the terrible Arizona Cardinals (This is another NFL fan reference, but trust us nothing is worse then The Cardinals). Since Art Modell famously shipped the original Cleveland Browns franchise following the 1995 season to Baltimore to become the modern day Ravens, the Cleveland Browns have been in a tail spin that has seen them become one of the most embarrassing franchises in pro sports today. After being awarded an expansion team in 1999 four years after Modell’s famed departure the Cleveland Browns have been deplorable at best managing to make the playoff only one time since their return to the NFL. This playoff appearance became a public spectacle of just how horrible The Browns luck truly is when the Browns gave up 15 unanswered points in the final five minutes to blow a 33-21 lead over the Pittsburgh Steeler’s in the first round of the 02' playoffs. In the 07/08 season it was again brought to the attention of NFL fans around the globe just where The Cleveland Browns franchise stands. After completing an outstanding season under the coaching tutelage of Romeo Crennel with a ten win six loss season the Browns had to watch helplessly well defending super-bowl champion’s Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts rolled over for the up and coming Tennessee Titans on national television. The Colts walked into the game having lost only two games. Meanwhile, The Titans had racked up six losses to equal the total of the beleaguered Browns. All the Browns needed to clinch a playoff spot was for MVP quarterback Peyton Manning to lead his team to victory over a brash young Titans team that had already lost to Manning and the Colts in week two of the regular season in the most heartbreaking manner. A two point loss. So close yet so far away. In true Browns fashion however it was just not to be, Manning only played briefly completing fourteen of sixteen passes before giving way to a host of second stringers and virtually rolling over for the Tennessee Titans. Titans won the game 16-10 and clinched the final playoff spot sending Romeo and The Browns searching for someone, anyone to reverse the curse. 07/08 Cleveland Browns so close yet so far away.
Miscellaneous, Others, Just missed the cut
Miami Dolphins 1-15 just barely avoid becoming the second team in NFL history to play sixteen games without managing to record a single win. Dolphin’s commentator heard shouting "The Dolphins are undefeated in overtime this season" following a game winning overtime touchdown that helped the Dolphins to avoid the dreaded goose egg just two weeks before the seasons final game. As a side note following a week of gloating over the teams lone victory Dolphins management announced the hiring of Bill Parcells better known as The Big Tuna as the new VP of football operations. Not sure how well Dolphins get along with Tuna ? but I’m sure the introduction of a foreign fish into the Dolphin tank is sure to make a lot of mess before getting anything cleaned up.
#28
A rookie burst onto the scene and every broadcaster in both print and in moving pictures find themselves falling over each other in a bottom sucking manner in an attempt to lick his boot straps. Due to this despicable disease that I have watched turn the most informed, stubborn and cynical sports writers of our time into drooling, babbling bunch of half-wits with a credibility somewhere below zero I have decided to compile this article without using the name of the individual in question. I will only refer to the player in question by the number on his back (#28) and not by the name above it. This is not a punishment to the player or even a knock on his accomplishments. This is merely an attempt on my part to distance myself from the mesmerized zombie scribes. #28 burst into the NFL as a young man who had left a boat load of unfinished business in the college ranks and was gearing up to take it out on NFL defences.
I watched and lost a rather large wager as #28 churned out 296 yards against the less then stellar tackling of The San Diego Chargers defence. It was a milestone day and #28 was at the centre of all the glory having surpassed Jamal Lewis’s single game rushing record by just one yard. And like a grade schooler who has just brought home their first musical instrument, a recorder they slobber and drool all over the falic looking instrument to the bemusement of anyone in the room who is able to see this for the truly embarrassing display that it is. Reports begin to line up to bow before the boy king, slobbering, drooling and generally making fools of themselves.
To the reporters I say "get a hold of your self, man" and to the rookie #28 I say
"Should your legacy stand the test of time as so many in the press are sure it will then the absence of your name in this article will seem a fitting tribute to your greatness. However should you be unable to sustain this unbelievable run there will be no need for I told you so’s as I will have been right."
PS: #28 I’m really cheering for you and not against you. Rumble young man rumble.
The new commish has made his mark
In the early day of new Commissioner Roger Goodell rain as The NFL’s head honcho there were various attempts made to make a mark, an initial imprint. Most notably the suspensions of Adam Pac-Man Jones for the entire season for a host of off field incidents as well as the suspension of Atlanta Falcons quarterback Mike Vick prior to his conviction for involvement in some very twisted dog fighting ring. Roger Goodell managed to make the most impression however in the manner in which he dealt with The New England Patriot video gate scandal. Goodell managed to sugar coat The Patriot scandal to the point that even following a perfect undefeated season by the same Patriots nobody seemed to be raising an eyebrow or even batting an eye lid over the fact that this organization had just been caught with their hands in the cookie jar yet still managed to pull off the impossible. I’m not suggesting that Commissioner Goodall is a Patriots fan or somehow in cahoots with Patriot owner Robert Kraft. What I really believe is that the NFL just like the rest of the world is face to face with a monster the likes of which we’ve never seen before. Technology has come to far to fast with far to little constraints.
Congratulations Commissioner Goodell...
For making your mark but please don’t stop now, if you don’t get the ball rolling on some kind of laws related to computers and advanced technologies’ maybe nobody will and will all be doomed.
Dear Commish
I’ve always believed that of the four major sports Major League Baseball has the most power over our day to day lives and that the NFL’s impact relates to little more then calculated gambling. Mr Goodell this issue of Techno Law and how you decide to deal with it will forever mirror my impressions of you. So far you have only managed to sugar coat the issue in the most miraculous manner causing everyone to briefly look away, well The Patriot Train zoomed by in the midst of one of the most cut and dry cases of dirty underhanded tricks in NFL history. And why? To protect your own neck because you just like myself are all too aware that The New England Patriots are far from the only team using video and advanced Technology to bolster their Sunday afternoon performances. The bottom line is this Commish; You have done a miraculous job sweeping video gate under the carpet let just hope you’re proactive when it comes to establishing a set of Techno Rules that will insure that everyone is competing on a level playing field.
See you, next year
Zoltan Black
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