Morgan Pressel Sent to Auschwitz by the LPGA
by Karen Fish
Here are the top 10 money leaders on the LPGA so far this year: Yani Tseng, Ai Miyazato, Sun Young Yoo, Na Yeon Choi, Bok Choy, So Yeon Ryu, Jiyai Shin, Shanshan Feng, Candie Kung and I.K. Kim. I.K. Kim would be higher but at the LPGA’s first major this year the Kraft Nabisco Championship In Kyung missed a 3 inch putt on the 72nd hole to hand the title to Sun Young Yoo. Nobody misses a 3 inch putt but I.K. missed it deliberately because she can’t swim.
Two days ago the LPGA held the Sybase Match Play Championship at the Hamilton Farm Golf Club in Gladstone, N.J. The semifinals featured Morgan Pressel vs. Azahara Munoz and Vickie Hurst vs. Candie Kung. The Men’s PGA has not penalized a golfer for slow play since 1995. In 1995 Saddam Hussein’s daughters Raghad and Rana defected to Jordan with their husbands; they should have stayed there.
This past Sunday Morgan Pressel was playing Azahara Munoz in the morning semi final of the Sybase Match Play. People were calling her “Whitey” and those were the LPGA officials. This year Luke Donald tweeted “Slow play is killing our game”; how about world number 1’s who have never won a major title?
Tiger Woods has won 14 major championships so far and is closing in on becoming the first golfer ever to win $100 million in prize money. Yesterday Tiger Woods said “I certainly think we need to speed up play because we are the figureheads of golf. It’s going to have to go through the policy board so it’s going to take time. It’s not going to happen this year.” Is the policy board going to be penalized for procrastination?
Morgan Pressel is a Jewish 23 year old LPGA blonde, blue eyed cutie from Tampa, Florida who was the youngest player ever to win an LPGA Major Championship when she won the Kraft Nabisco Dinah Shore in 2007 at the age of 19. On Sunday Morgan was playing in the semis and she was steamrolling her friend Azahara Munoz. Morgan Pressel won the 12th hole to go 3 up on Azahara Munoz. It was at this point that the LPGA sent some stooge to give her a loss of hole penalty for slow play on the 12th hole for checking the wind for 3 extra seconds and as a result instead of being 3 up Morgan was now 1 up and she lost the match. Tomorrow is Morgan’s 24th birthday and the LPGA has already given her her present, a trip to Auschwitz, Poland all inclusive.
Tiger Woods hits his approach shot on the 72nd hole at Augusta National to 3 feet and knocks it in to win his 19th Major Championship. As the entire world goes wild with glee a rules official breaks through the crowd and tells Tiger Woods that he has just received a 2 shot penalty for slow play on 18 and he loses the tournament to Kim Bi-o.