Ronaldo Shorts: Footballer's Short Shorts a Global Fashion Crime

Videos

Cristiano Ronaldo confirms record transfer Real Madrid move July 2009

see larger video

sourced by Jon Azpiri

Brace yourself for "Ronaldo shorts" to come into style. So says a Reuters report that states that Cristiano Ronaldo's short shorts are becoming all the rage in Europe.

The paparazzi have caught the Real Madrid star wearing tight shorts during his recent Las Vegas vacation and the style may be catching on.

Of course, the sales increase may not mean much. The store reported a percentage increase rather than hard numbers. In theory, the store could have sold 12 bathing suits last week and then 26 this week and claim something close to a 117 percent increase. 

But then there is this ominous quote from a Debenham's exec:

If the Ronaldo shorts catch on, then the Real Madrid star will undo the fashion influence of another great athlete: Michael Jordan. While MJ is best known as arguably the great basketball player of all time, he also had a lasting impact on the fashion world: he almost single-handedly changed how the world wears shorts.

When Jordan first came into the league in 1985, NBA players wore short basketball shorts. Jordan preferred to wear his shorts down to his knee. Pretty soon, the look spread to the mainstream as people tried to emulate the NBA star. For the last two decades, long shorts have become the norm (unless, of course, you work for Dov Charney).

It turns out that Air Jordan did the world a huge favor, good work that could be undone by the new "Ronaldo shorts." After all, it's easy to wear Ronaldo-style banana hammocks when you're an ultra-fit footballer who gets massaged all day while sitting poolside. But what about the rest of us who love to hide our flabby thighs behind the billowy legs of our Bermuda shorts?

Clearly, Ronaldo must be stoppped. He is the fashion version of Kim Jong-Il, a rogue force who refuses to listen to reason and will stop at nothing until he imposes his will on the rest of the world.  I implore you, President Obama--a man who likes long shorts--to do something about this before a Ronaldo Shorts epidemic spreads across the globe.