Stem Cells Baldness Cure Finally
Barry Artiste,Now Public Contributor
The days of wearing that ill fitting "Roadkill" on your head in order to capture one's waning youth is finally within a hairs breadth. So pop in some Viagra, grab those white shoes and gold chains, fire up that Trans -Am and start looking for that elusive 20 year old "Trophy wife".
Scientists at the University of Pennsylvania found that when the skin of mice is wounded, epidermal cells can assume the properties of stem cells that generate hair follicles.
So with this in mind gentlemen, Gone, will be the laughter and ridicule from friends and passerbys behind your back. For you too will now be a man, a real man, no longer will women be looking at your expanding waistline, as your shining mane of glory will eclipse even your lack of personality.
With a Baldness Cure finally within reach, those pathetic late night "Carpet Ads" will finally come to an end, whereby "follically challenged" men sadly state women never gave them a second look, but now with their new "Hair Replacement System (fancy word for Roadkill) women flock to them like "RockStars" offering their taut nubile bodies for the taking.
Why some men claim that once they get their "Hair Replacement System" (fancy name for Roadkill) that miraculous events happen, upon waking up, 6-pack abs instantly appear, people leave yachts in their driveway, and they go from lowly paid sales clerks overnight to CEO's of major corporations.
Famous Carpet Wearing Celebs
Donald Trump, Hugh Hefner, William Shatner, George Costanza (Seinfeld)
In ending, hopefully this new Baldness Cure will one day stop these ridiculous Hair Replacement System Ads,did I mention that it is just a fancy word for Roadkill?
Following this "Baldness Breakthrough" news, Chapters Books may go bankrupt, their "How to get a Personality" self help books, sadly sit collecting dust.
Now where did I leave my Trans-Am keys............