Ayatollah Khamenei Third on Forbes Billionaire List
by Karen Fish
Forbes magazine has just released their annual Forbes billionaire list and Iran’s Ayatollah Khamenei came in tied for third. Once again Carlos Slim Helu of Mexico came in first with $73 Billion, $73,000 Million, Bill Gates came in second with $67 Billion and Iran’s Ayatollah Khamenei tied for third with Amancio Ortega of Spain with $57 Billion.
Carlos Slim Helu made his fortune in the telecomunnications business, Bill Gates made his fortune in the computer business, Amancio Ortega made his fortune in women’s fashion and Ayatollah Khamanei soared near the top in Religion. This week CNN’s British – Iranian journalist Christiane Amanpour sat down with Ayatollah Khamenei at his six palace compound in Tehran, Iran, the Niavaran Palace Complex to discuss a wide variety of topics.
Christiane Amanpour: “$57 Bil that’s a lot of gelt your Emperorness.”
Ayatollah Khamenei: “Your father is Mohammad, you went to Holy Cross Convent in England and now you’re married to a Jew. You have three religions just like Paris Jackson.”
Christiane Amanpour: “How do you like President Obama?”
Ayatollah Khamenei: “I gave $10 Billion to his campaign. His father is a Muslim and he was raised and went to school in the most populous Muslim country in the world, Indonesia. According to Sigmund Freud your personality is shaped by the time you’re five. Did you hear John McCain singing “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran? The only beach I want is the beach in Haifa.”
Christiane Amanpour: “How do you feel about your new ranking on Forbes Billionaire List? Isn’t it true that the world’s 1.5 billion Muslims are awaiting two messiahs, the Mahdi, the twelfth, the Hidden Imam, and the other Muslim Messiah, Jesus Christ, the Jewish born Rabbi and Messiah of Christianity and Islam? And isn’t it true that Jesus Christ turned down the world when Satan offered it to him and Jesus said “Sell all your possessions and give all of your money to the poor, for it is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into Heaven?”
Ayatollah Khamenei: “Speaking of possession did you know that my guru is Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi Nostradamus’ Third Antichrist ‘Mabus’? That guy has so much chutzpah that he built his home on the mountain in Qom above our nuclear enrichment facility. Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi says that he’s not making the same mistake that he made when he possessed the bodies of Nostradamus’ first two Antichrists the Emperors Napoleon and Hitler; this time he says ‘No more mister nice guy!” You don’t get to own the world by making medical isotopes.”
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.