BBQ Chip Bandits Rock Saanich, BC to Its Very Core
Saanich Will Never Be the Same after Bold Barbecue Chip Heist
Saanich, British Columbia: a suburb of provincial capital Victoria, and home to tasty, tasty barbecue chips. These are BBQ chips that will drive you to commit street crimes.
The video below is an instant classic: look how seriously CTV takes the story of two drunk college girls who steal some BBQ chips from an open garage. The homeowner called the cops, who used a K9 unit to track down the barbecue chip bandits. Officers apprehended the two drunk students, but the chips had already been "accessed".
Sgt Dean Jantzen, Saanich PDThese are first-time chip offenders.
These are not just any barbecue chips, mind you: they're the Truly brand. These are only a buck per bag, but are only sold in Zellers, and Zellers will soon be no more.
As Saanich police sergeant Dean Jantzen specified, "These are very specific and hard-to-obtain barbecue chips. [...] It is my understanding that that brand of barbecue [chip] is quite tasty."
However, despite Jantzen's description, Truly brand barbecue chips do not come in an "effervescent" package. Indeed, if you see a bag of chips that's fizzing and bubbling, do not purchase it.
Target bought the leaseholds for all 220 Zellers locations. Target will open most of these locations as Target stores, and sell the remaining leases on to other retailers.
This means no more Truly chips, barbecue or otherwise. Saanich just had a glimpse of its future: BBQ-crazed people roaming the streets in ravening hordes, ready to do unspeakable things for that last tasty chip.
Where were you the day that Saanich, BC lost its innocence?