Billionaire rips off Millionaire
Imagine this, your new employer a multibillion dollar media mogul offers you a generous bonus if only you can find it in you heart to make it to work on time every day for the next year. You’re enthused and find yourself willing to tackle the impossible in an effort to cash in on this enormous bonus. Just as the harps begin to play, angels on small pillow cloud ascend from the havens and you reach a high state of nirvana the boss waylays you with a lengthy contract with both fine and super fine print. You weigh your options, is signing anything so lengthy without first reading over the afore mentioned super fine print really a good idea, but this is a bonus just for showing up for work on time any quirk, twist or loopholes that might be found in the contract are highly irrelevant due to the nature of the request. You’ve only been asked to do something you are already required to do, show up for work on time and no contract that involves your attendance need be read unless it also involves your possible termination. Termination however in not an issue, your boss is offering this particular bonus in an effort to keep you as an employee not a sneaky was to slide you out the back door. So, you sign, they draft and you take a copy home it’s all fairly basic stuff. The contract leaves clauses that allow the employer to avoid paying the employee should there be a lack of work, shut down or layoff but in your almost fifteen year career you’ve never seen a shortage, layoff or shut down (you have seen a strike but that is a different issue for a different day), in fact it has always been the complete opposite not enough stable bodies to keep the place running at top speed. There is also of course a clause that states "no bonus payment will not be paid out should the employee not complete the required task (showing up for work on time for one year) for ANY reason." You’re healthy, excited and sure that this massive bonus is well within your reach. A bonus that would certainly make your golden years much more comfortable and all you had to do is show up for work on time. Almost seems too good to be true. And that’s because it is too good to be true.
I’m now eighty days away from achieving my goal and I have a tank full of massive bonus gas. The bulk of the required years is behind me and already a distant memory. I weave in and out of traffic on my way to the office spilling coffee on my freshly pressed khaki pants. I’m an animal behind the wheel (Andretti) intuition (Schmacher) poise (Petty) courage. Traffic Patrol could try to stop me, sirens whaling cherry’s spinning but they’d have a high speed chase on their hands, right to my office front door. This minor traffic infraction would be easily paid off with the funds I would acquire through my up coming bonus. I made it to work with twenty minute to spare punched in early and did like wise at the end of the day. Upon grabbing my punch card I notice my card had a visitor, a yellow 3M sticky note stuck to its surface. This was always a sure sign that the boss wanted to meet with you, this type of friendly none confrontational call out was typical of my boss so reading the note was an exercise in futility. I crumpled the note up, tossed it in the waste bin and proceeded to the bosses office.
I left the bosses office in a ball of flames, plant slow down, temporary layoff, return to work at a later date.
There is no slow down, no layoff required and I won’t likely be returning to work anytime in the near future. My employer has noticed my large bonus on the horizon and is unprepared to make the payoff so rather then renegotiate, review of revisit the terms of the contract my employer has chosen to eliminate the possibility of me reaching my target by sending me home. Oh, and the icing on the cake is that they really think I’ll go home for a while forfeit my bonus and come back to work at their convenience.
This entire article is actually inspired by the plight of future Hall of Fame baseball player Frank Thomas and the injustices he suffered at the hand of Ted Rogers and his Toronto Blue Jays