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Epic Whole Foods Resignation Email: 'Faux Hippy Wal-Mart'

by Jordan Yerman | July 25, 2011 at 10:17 am

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Whole Foods Resignation Email: 2,500-Word Epic Rant

An as-yet-unnamed Whole Foods employee in Toronto quit his job with the upscale grocery chain in style: with a massive rant against Whole Foods and its supposed values, which is denounced as "bullshit". The former employee then sent the resignation letter to everyone in the company.

The Whole Foods resignation letter starts with an Edmund Burke quote ("All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."), so you know that someone's taking themselves quite seriously. The email describes Whole Foods as a "faux hippy Wal-Mart".

You can read the whole resignation email via the link below: It's close to 2,500 words of pent-up aggression and service-industry rage. The grammar and punctuation are sketchy at best, and chronic lateness seems to have been an issue.

Quality is being thrown out in favour of the people at the top having to do a little less work. Competition is being destroyed and you're not even pushing that many healthy products. Every second endcap is potato chips or pop or some sort of salt filled snack (Promoting the health of our stakeholders through healthy eating education). A lot of the stuff in Whole Body doesn't even work or has absolutely no credible evidence to back any claims up. You're kind a faux hippy Wal-Mart now. Great. Job.

It would be fun to write a resignation letter like this. However, you should not do it. It's unprofessional (to say the least), and would certainly come back to haunt you, especially if you include as many personal attacks as the Whole Foods ranter does. If your rant goes viral, then that goes double. Maybe triple.

However, it's perfectly acceptable to live vicariously through those who are okay with the risk. We're looking at you, Steven Slater.

Oh, and if you ignore the above advice and send out an epic resignation rant, please be sure to proofread it first.

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YankeeJim

at 12:16 on July 25th, 2011

I lose money just walking across their parking lot.

I went to the fish counter one time as fresh rockfish had arrived. I picked a fish and asked that it be cleaned. When they were finished, I owned a $30 piece of fish. I could have refused, but I really wanted that fish -- even if it was the last one that I would ever eat from Whole Foods.