Follow Your Favorite Deity on Twitter For Spiritual Guidance

Need some spiritual guidance? Now we have twitter, why bother praying?

God
26,635 followers, 1,951 following
God only follows the 1,951 lucky few, so there is no guarantee that he knows what's going on in your life. Be proactive! Make sure you DM him regularly to keep him posted.

Holy God
14,491 followers, 14,008 following
What's the difference between God and Holy God? Beats me. Maybe one of them is impostor, be careful who you follow. Holy God follows 14,008 people, so he might be more caring than God. But again, there's no way to tell if he actually reads your tweets.

Jehova
20 followers, 11 following
Pathetic. Jehova deserves more love. It seems that he stopped updating since May, and I totally understand.

Allah
0 followers, 0 following.
Allah has his tweets protected. Definitely not a fan of twitter.

Buddha
1 follower, 1 following.
Apparently his first name is Frank, not Siddhattha as I previously thought. He's got his tweets protected too, so I wouldn't want to bother him.

Satan
5,896 followers, 134 following
Hasn't been updating since July. Maybe he prefers DM. After all, his treacherous schemes must be plotted in secrecy.