How to get your boss drunk and get what you want out of him.

There are (broadly speaking) two kinds of parties: party parties and corporate parties. At the former you have fun, at the latter you pretend to have fun. It can be awkward, especially for the junior staff who have yet to master the ins and outs of dealing with a boss who is drunk when you’re none too sober.

And yet, says Weekly Playboy (June 9), office parties are key vehicles for professional advancement. So clear is this that a poll cited by the magazine shows 90% of freshmen employees taking these gatherings very seriously indeed. Of course, being young, inexperienced and inebriated, it’s only too easy to put your foot in your mouth, perhaps never to get it out again. On the other hand, if you play your cards right, read your boss’ character correctly, play him or her with skill and sensitivity, you can get your career off to a soaring start.

For example: “Seniors think their juniors are stupid by definition. If you talk seriously to them [at a drinking party], it puts them out of humor. So—be stupid! Understand nothing! Gratify the boss’ superiority complex!”

That’s disconcerting, but maybe we can draw a little comfort from the fact that it’s spoken by a young pro wrestler and may have limited corporate relevance. If a young business person has an experience corresponding to the following wrestler’s reminiscence, the resemblence is likely to be more metaphorical than literal.