One-Liner Observations of Headlines Offered

Below are a half-dozen news headlines I found worthy of twisting into one-liner observations that might make you laugh:

• Hallmark introduces gay marriage greeting cards. Does anyone still shop there?

• Living with humans has taught dogs morals, say scientists. Perhaps, politicians should try living among humans.

• Fifty-eight-year-old Mark Spitz says Michael Phelps couldn’t have beat him. Depends.

• Alligators are swimming in the streets in Florida. Apparently, John Edwards has ditched Elizabeth, relocated his law office and gone back to work as a trial lawyer.

• Texas to execute mentally-ill man. Much to the disappointment of ignorant liberals and late-night talk show hosts everywhere, it’s not George W. Bush.

• Iran’s says it’s going to send a man into space. I nominate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad!

-- Bob McCarty Writes