Taking a-- Hiss!
The unnamed victim was last month around 300km northwest of Cairns when he crouched down to relieve himself, at which point the venomous reptile "slithered between his legs and lunged at his manhood".
While the assailant "beat a hasty retreat", the victim was left with a scratch on his wedding tackle and suffering from vomiting and abdominal pains. Cue the swift intervention of the emergency services, who wrapped the wound in plastic "in case poison had penetrated the skin".
The brown snake (Pseudonaja textilis) is rated the second most venemous land snake in the world after the Inland Taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus).