Zombie Apocalypse Coming Soon: Compelling Evidence for an Attack
Several events that have occurred within the past week and half have sparked some to believe that we are facing an impending zombie apocalypse.
Florida may be the first state to encounter a Zombie apocalypse. All within ten days, several mysterious and strange events have happened to make most of us believe that a zombie apocalypse may be inevitable. Hope For Rick Santorum, a Tumblr blog, gave us insight to a few zombie-like incidents for us to ponder:
At McArther High School on May 16th, Hazmat was called to decontaminate teachers and students after some broke out with a mysterious rash. The twelve students and two teachers who were inflicted with the rash were sent to the hospital. The cause of the rash is still unknown.
At the Fort Lauderdale International Airport, an unknown chemical in terminal two caused the terminal to be closed down for testing on May 17th. The chemical was closed for two days and sent five people to the emergency room. The cause remains under investigation.
Then, on May 21st, a man was arrested and charged after he allegedly grabbed an 18-year-old woman by the throat, bit her cheek and twisted her right arm while threatening to kill her if she called the police
Hazmat and EMS crews responded to a school in Lake County early Friday after 27 children and adults said they weren't feeling well on a school bus on May 25th. The children were exposed to pesticide used by the bus driver to clean an area of the bus where another child had gotten sick earlier.
A 24-year old Canadian man was taken into custody for rushing toward the front of an American Airlines flight from Jamaica after the plane landed in Miami on Thursday, May 25. Airline officials say the disoriented passenger stood up from his seat and did not obey orders to remain seated. He rushed towards the front of the plane and was only subdued after some passengers calmed him down.
On Saturday, May 27th a naked man now identified as Rudy Eugene was shot by police after he was trying to eat the face of another man on the side of a road in Miami. He was nicknamed the 'Miami Zombie", and (extremely gruesome) photos of the unidentified victim's face were released on the internet.
Alexender Kinyua was arrested for the murder of his roommate and allegedly ate his victim's brains and heart. According to Alexander Kinyua, he killed Agyei-Kodie and cut up the body, hiding parts of it in a garbage bin behind a nearby church. The rest he hid in the basement of his house.
Recently, Ashley Horton was enjoying her day just masturbating in public, and when a police officer tried to put her pants back on her, she bit the police officer.
And here's bad news. The zombie-like behavior may be spreading outside of Florida. Also on Saturday, New Jersey man Wayne Carter cut himself open and threw his skin and intestines at police officers after barricading himself in his home. The police officers withdrew and called in the SWAT team. Carter survived the incident but is in critical condition.
Then today, the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign tweeted the following warning to its students last night: "Hazardous materials released at Institute for Genomic Biology. Escape area if safe to do so. Otherwise seek shelter."
Sharpen your machete, grab your sawed-off shotgun and all the twinkies you can find, and be prepared. You never know what's going to happen next.