The 10 Commandments of Bono
Time Magazine Person of the Year 2005, three-time Nobel Peace Prize nominee, honorary Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire, Messiah of Rock ‘n’ Roll™, Guardian of Humanity™, Saviour of Africa™, Patron Saint of Cowboy Hats™.
He’s probably to busy to get around to this, so I thought I’d save him getting the stone tablets out and post them here first. So for all of you who have uttered, in a time of darkness, that immortal plea for guidance – “What would BONO do?” – here’s some clarification:
Thou Shalt Not Worship Any Gods Before Me
First and foremost, Bono demands that we adhere to this fundamental rule. Some may mock, but whether he is saving the world one continent at a time or patronising leaders of other faiths, it is clear that Paul Hewson is the earthly vessel of the Lord Bono Vox (that’s Latin for “Good Voice”, in case you were in any doubt as to the majesty of his heavenly singing).
Practising Bonoists have been following his divine teachings since the early-80s Mullet Era. But now it seems that other religions are starting to wise up and preach the word of Bono.
Thou Shalt Not Steal (Cowboy Hats)
In 2006 Bono taught mankind that theft is a grave sin. Even if the victim is a multi-millionaire. And the stolen item is a hat. And the perpetrator is an ex-employee. Who maintains that the hat was a gift. And the theft occurred in 1987. Even then, the principle holds, and justice must be done. Even if it makes you look petty.