11 Things Men Should Never Wear (In No Particular Order)

Needless to say, not every fashion crime made it to demiCouture.ca's worst offenses list. Below are all on my personal male style naughty list, and should not be worn by any persons under any circumstance.

• Message/joke shirts. Yeah, I know you got that shirt from that conference last year, or you want everyone to know that the person to your left is an idiot. Put it away! In an age of [seemingly] declining intelligence, the last thing you want is to broadcast various toilet humor or sponsor ads.

• Socks and sandals. Leave this one for when you’re old, senile and can’t see. Nothing broadcasts a bad fashion choice quite like this classic. If you don’t want people seeing your feet or it’s too cold, you could always wear a shoe with full foot coverage.

• Clothing that is far too big, or too small. Trust me, wearing a shirt one size too small to accentuate your man-curves does not appeal. This broadcasts that you either don’t care about your appearance enough to buy clothes that fit, or are possibly a mimbo.

• Denim jackets and denim pants. This applies double to those wearing two different types/colors of denim.

• Hawiian/wallpaper type shirts. Zach Braff gives a beautiful example of what not to do in his film Garden State.

• Saggy pants. Nothing spells “catch” like 5 inches of boxer short for all on the street to see. Invest in a belt, boys, and pants that actually fit your waist!

• Excessive accessories. Sorry all you hip-hoppers…all that “bling” is bringin’ you down.

• Novelty ties (or suits for that matter). There is a reason you’ve never seen Flavor Flav or Don Cherry on a best dressed list.

• Jerseys. We (the public) gets you like <insert your sport of choice here>. However, there is no reason one should be sporting a jersey when not playing said sport.

• Crocs. There is no reason that any person, male or female, should wear these outside of your garden. Enough said. No matter what embellishments or adjustments are made to this model, these will remain the worst choice in footwear one can possibly make.

• Thong sandals. These are the cheapest and most abused footwear known to human beings. If you are off the beach, don’t wear them! If I had even the smallest of change for every time I’ve seen a pair of nasty five dollar sandals on someone in the city, I could party with some rich bitches.