Truemors
Here's a story:
I didn't have rehearsal last night, so I scheduled an appointment to assist with some medical research. You know, because I care about the future of science like that. And I need the cash. This study was SUPPOSEDLY one in which I would take some pills for two weeks, not knowing whether I had been given real ones or placebos, and then write in a journal anything I noticed while on the pills. They'd take blood before and after the study. I'd be compensated 75$. Got it? Ok. Well. Get this. Pssst. I had inside information that the study was not the study, but instead a study on how to best give research study medical information instead and how much of that is absorbed. What this means is that the initial meeting, the telling what the study was about,that was the study. So, basically, I got an envelope of cash for answering some questions and listening to this guy tell me what an imaginary study involved. I win! I love getting envelopes full of cash. But see, since I knew their secret, I had to pretend like I didn't, right? So, I had to pretend to be all surprised when they came back in and were all, "Miss Bootsy? I hate this part, but there is no study." I put the back of my hand to my forehead and proclaimed, "I feel so deceived!" Then I took my envelope full of cash. They said, "so, what are you going to do with it?" I then proclaimed, "I'M GOING TO DISNEY LAND!!!" and then came a colorful musical montage full of all of our favorite Disney characters.
Actually, I went grocery shopping.
Going grocery shopping makes me feel like a normal person who has time to go grocery shopping and then cook the items purchased. I must say though that the envelope of cash was burning a hole in my britches. I was out of control. I purchased such extravagant items as almonds, Schezeuan sauce, avocados, the big bag of urinary tract care cat food, two kinds of chap stick and pre shredded (gasp) mozzarella cheese. Out of control. I ended up spending 30 dollars over my envelope of cash.
Then I went home and made a giant dinner that is going to take me a week and a half to eat.
Then I watched the fine fine film, Pumkinhead.
Then my neighbor scared the poop out of me by knocking on the door and calling several times trying to give me a free loaf of organic bread. I thought it was Pumkinhead coming to kill me. But it was just my neighbor offering loaves of organic bread.
The end.
Comments (0)