Candy That's Only Seen at Halloween: List of Bad Candy

Photos

Halloween Candy: Mary Jane

see larger image

uploaded by Brent and MariLynn

• 

  uploaded by Brent and MariLynn | add comment

• 

  uploaded by KelseyTurner | add comment

• 

  uploaded by wcouch | add comment

• 

  uploaded by the queen of subtle | add comment

• 

  uploaded by t13 | add comment

• 

  uploaded by Danielle Scott | add comment

• 

  uploaded by dougnichols | add comment

• 

  uploaded by confettispaghetti | add comment

• 

  uploaded by Sammy68- | add comment

• 

  uploaded by a100tim | add comment

What's up with that candy that only appears at Halloween? You know the candy I'm talking about... the cheap, sickly-sweet stuff in brittle wrappers that exists only to shoo disguised children from cranky grownups' doorsteps. The candy the serves only to fill up a pillowcase. If you're a kid, you then use that dreadful candy as a buffer, letting it float to the top of your stash so that, when your mom or dad raids your trick-or-treat bag, they get a handful of the crappy candy that you don't want anyway.  There's some bad candy out there. Some baaaaad candy.

I'm talking about:

• Kandy Korn: you can make fangs with them, though, so they have some redeeming value
• Smarties (US version): These are basically discs of colored chalk
• Syrupy Suckers: malformed sticky messes swaddled in brittle plastic.
  
• Those Nougat Things Wrapped in Waxy Paper: WTF is up with that? Making it orange and putting what's meant to be a bat on it won't make it taste like anything other than caulk.
  
• Really Hard Bubblegum: the real jawbreakers; you can't even chew the f&ckin' things.
  
• Those Square Caramel Things that Just Suck: ... Lame-lame-lame-lame-lame!
• Those Hard Sweets that Look Like Cough Drops: actually, I think they are cough drops. We used to spit them at each other.
  
• Slightly Oversized Jelly Beans That Taste Like Plastic: no more need be said about these abominations.
• [Your Entry Here]

One time, when I was around seven years old, we were trick-or-treating, and we showed up at a house where teenagers were partying. They gave each of us a can of beer. Seriously. I didn't drink it. Honestly. I was only seven.

If you give out bad candy, prepare yourself for the likelihood of your jack o' lantern getting smashed to pulp. In fact, if I even hear about bad candy in my neighborhood, I'll put on my Dexter henley and rubber gloves and assassinate your jack o'lantern. Best believe it. I'm civic-minded like that.

Also, grown-ups, don't even think of handing out rubbish like toothbrushes or floss or fruit or anything healthy. 

What's the worst trick-or-treat swag you've ever gotten?

Also see:

• Pumpkin Carving
• Hot Costumes
• Last-Minute Costume Options
• Halloween Drinks

What's the worst candy you've ever gotten at Halloween?