Top 10 Worst Fashion Trends of 2008
The end of 2008 is upon us and it's a great time to look back across the year and examine some of the incredible fashions we adopted - and count the errors of our ways. Trend and style is ever-changing, though many of the items that follow never should have been considered for public approval in the first place.
Here are the Top 10 Fashion Blunders of 2008 for both men and women, in no particular order:
Top 5 Female Fashion Blunders of 2008
1. Animal Print
Unless, of course, you actually want to look like a cougar.
2. Metallic Robot Gloves
Thanks for introducing this monstrosity to us, Beyonce. Maybe now you can knock some sense into yourself with that steel fist?
3. Overtly Conspicuous Accessories
Brightly coloured stockings sometimes work on a runway, but if you plan to be gallivanting about in public you had better be 5.
You're not fooling anyone with clear bra straps. In fact, when the light hits these "invisible" straps just right, you can actually see the reflection from space.
Ornate headwear. Hats are ok, but anything with feathers/flowers/bulbous bits that requires 20 pins to keep in place, you can probably do without.
Shoelace headbands a la American Apparel hipster kids.
4. Nefarious Shoes
Cargo heels that come with a 'handy' built-in pocket on the strap are NOT convenient.
Architectural shoes that may reach heights of 7" are impossible to walk in, and watching models fall all over runways wearing them didn't do much to whet my buying urges.
Anything with large bows.
99.99% of wedges.
And forget about extreme gladiator sandals that rise to the knee - at the very least, consider the potential for disastrous tan lines!
5. Plaid pants
Ahh...popularized in the 1970's, and re-appropriated by grunge kids in the 90's. Leave plaid pants in your youth with that ratty old chain wallet you wore with them.
If you need plaid in your life, I wholeheartedly suggest you invest north of the waistline; a button-down shirt, fitted equestrian blazer, or tunic are all acceptable alternatives.
Top 5 Male Fashion Blunders of 2008
1. Belted Jackets
The only possible point of a belt on a jacket that already has a zipper and/or button is to add definition to your waistline. In my opinion, men need not worry about accentuating their curves. Leave the belt at home.
2. Cheesy Body Adornments
Never forget that most people equate barbed wire tattoos with Pamela Anderson, and there is simply no way you can make it look cooler than her.
Eyebrow rings were in a decade ago; if you still have one, take it out, and if you're thinking about getting one, don't.
It's incredibly obvious, especially to women, when you have fake blonde highlights.
3. Inappropriate Shirts
Wearing a shirt with fake 'sleeve' tattoos is not ok - if you don't have the gall to get a real tattoo, don't play make-believe with an Ed Hardy shirt.
Same goes for shirts covered in flames. You are not that hot.
When you pop your collar, you look like a 15 year old boy. And yes, you actually do look twice as ridiculous if you double-up on polos and pop both collars.
Lately, I've been seeing the hipster boys dressing up in girls' clothing...just because girls adopted the "boyfriend tee" and took style cues from menswear, doesn't mean you can steal back from our wardrobe. Buy a small men's shirt and call it a day.
4. Overtly Conspicuous Accessories
I think we can all agree that Kanye West is one of the most ridiculous humans on the planet, and so are the shutter shades that he cherishes.
By popular request, I've been asked to include shell necklaces and fedoras here - my personal opinion is that some men can pull fedoras off, but don't go there if there's even a hint of uncertainty.
5. Strong cologne
When I can smell you from a block away, it's not sexy.
Runners up in both categories:
Even worse, crocs 'n sox.
2. Hammer pants
AKA harem, drop-crotch, parachute, dookie, typewriter, Humpty-Dumpty, or carrot pants. There are more synonyms but I think "Humpty-Dumpty" sufficiently conveys the awfulness here.
What did I miss? Leave your comments below!