The Worst Royal Wedding Souvenirs We Could Find
The Worst Royal Wedding Souvenirs 2011
Manufacturers and sellers of tacky souvenirs are making an absolute killing from the Royal Wedding. Tourists can't seem to get enough of fugly plastic, Styrofoam or ceramic trinkets as they converge on the royal parade route. Cleanup is going to be a nightmare.
Let's start with the ugliest object not only of the Royal Wedding, but perhaps of all time: the Royal Wedding teacup. If you haven't already jabbed out your own eyes, or, more constructively, smashed your screen, you'll notice (once you get past the hideous design of both mug and website) that they used the wrong Prince. They used the wrong Prince! How do you even fuck that up?!
These Royal Wedding KaTEA bags are the work of a company that's not even really trying.
How about some Royal Wedding biscuits? They look tasteless in both appearance and flavor, and also could possibly be voodoo dolls.
Speaking of voodoo dolls, how else could you explain these Temple of Doom-style knit-your-own Royals? This is the sort of thing that would attract law-enforcement attention if left outside Buckingham Palace.
A Royal Wedding fridge. Wait, what?
These "It Should Have Been Me" t-shirts aren't as ugly as some of the items above, but will have a relevance lifespan of about three hours. After that, you'll look like Miss Havisham. That's a bad thing, for all you non-literary types.
If you're wondering why I specified "2011" up above, let this be the answer to your question: a terrifying Princess Diana doll from the Franklin Mint, whose crimes against human eyeballs are legion.
I need a Royal Wedding barf bag.
One more thing: one souvenir that won't be welcome along the Royal Wedding parade route: a V for Vendetta mask. No matter how much you want to wear one, be advised that you will be hassled by cops if you turn up with a Guy Fawkes mask... even though these William and Kate masks are far more disturbing.