Congress Strikes Back: Gives Taxpayers a 4% Approval Rating

Washington -- Still stinging from the lowly 10% approval rating it received from the American public, Congress has taken revenge, bestowing a measly four percent approval rating on taxpaying citizens. “Taxpayers...

$15 Trillion Super Bowl Bet Would Wipe Out The National Debt

Indianapolis -- Congress Is gambling that a determined group of Patriots can again save the United States from collapse. The lawmakers are betting $15 trillion that the New England Patriots will defeat the New York...

Super Bowl Controversy: National Anthem Replaced with a Dodge Ad

Football fans watching Super Bowl XLVI can remain seated during the pregame ceremonies this year, because the singing of The Star-Spangled Banner will be preempted by a television commercial for Dodge trucks. “At...

Cher Fails to Prove She’s Not Dead -- Burial Set for Tuesday

Hollywood, California -- Former superstar Cher has fallen victim to a bogus Tweet, which announced that she had passed away last Thursday. It appears that the 65-year-old singer/actress has no way of proving that...

New Greek Threat: More Credit for Us Or No More Gyros for You

Athens -- Facing a debt burden that could enslave its citizens for decades to come, Greece has gone on the offensive, declaring it will halt the production of gyros worldwide if it’s not given a larger line of...

Hillary Clinton to Convert US Embassies into IHOPs

Washington DC -- Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton has begun transforming her diplomatic corp’s global network of embassies and consulates into the world’s largest International House of Pancakes chain....

Frenchmen’s AAA Romance Rating Downgraded To C-

Paris -- The EU Division of Standard & Poor’s has notched down France’s world-leading AAA Romance Rating, relegating the “land of love” to the bottom of the hotness heap when it comes to “lust,...

Republicans Battle On How Far To Turn Back the Clock

Crossroads, South Carolina -- Despite their endless bickering, the Republican presidential candidates all agree that they would like to take the nation back to a more gentler and prosperous era.  But they have...

‘Reverse Bonus Checks’ Drain Wall Street Bank Accounts

New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank...

‘CSI: Kardashian’ Puts the Madcap Back into Murder

Hollywood, California - CBS has launched a fourth version of its Crime Scene Investigation series, but with a twist. This time, the show plays forensics for fun, with members of America’s least talented but most...

China Sending Men to the Moon to Build a Lunar iPad Factory

Beijing -- China has revealed the purpose of its manned missions to the moon. The Chinese want to construct their next electronics assembly plant there as the first step toward using the moon as a manufacturing...

NYPD Threatens To Shut Down Times Square On New Year’s Eve

Police in New York have announced a plan to block the city’s New Year’s Eve celebration, contending that its crowd control responsibilities in Times Square interfere with a more essential duty. “The public...

10 THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH $50,000 WORTH OF MARGARINE

Earlier this month, authorities in Des Moines, Iowa said a thief stole a delivery truck parked outside a Target warehouse. Five days later the truck was recovered, but the cargo was missing. What was it you ask? $50,000 worth of margarine!read...

Congress Puts The Internet Up For Sale

Washington DC -- Faced by increased popular pressure against its moves to control and censor the Internet, Congress has decided to sell the World Wide Web to the highest bidder. “The Internet is very powerful in...

Donald Trump Creates A New Political Party -- The Trumpets

New York -- Just days after turning in his Republican membership card and secret decoder ring, real estate developer Donald Trump has launched his own personal political party. “It’s called the Trumpets,...

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