Donald Trump Creates A New Political Party -- The Trumpets

New York -- Just days after turning in his Republican membership card and secret decoder ring, real estate developer Donald Trump has launched his own personal political party. “It’s called the Trumpets,...

Steve Jobs Still Running Apple -- From Hell

Cupertino, California -- Almost three months after his death, Steve Jobs continues to head Apple Inc., controlling the company from his special place in Hell through a combination of Wi-Fi, G4 and supernatural...

US Declares a World Record Victory in Iraq

Baghdad -- The United States military today is celebrating a major win in Iraq. American troops are heading home after setting the world record for the longest and most expensive stop and frisk in the history of...

10 THINGS I WOULD DO IF I WERE A MIDDLE-AGED WHITE MAN

In the spirit of trying to relate to something that I've gotten most of my information about by watching television, but in reality know little about, here are 10 things I would do if I were a middle aged-White man...

John Boehner Kills ‘Share Christmas With Your Senator’ (Satire)

Washington DC - A program that would have allowed United States Senators to join in the Christmas celebrations of their constituents has been voted down by the House of Representatives. “We’re giving a big...

What Does Ken Burns Want for Christmas?

This two-minute mockumentary may have the answer. It was produced by BAMPA -- the Barely Any Motion Picture Association. And features slow pans and zooms of old photos of not so famous people.

‘Christmas with the Candidates’ to Replace the Trump Debate

New York - Real estate developer Donald Trump has announced that his planned presidential debate has been canceled due to lack of interest and replaced by a holiday special. The program is scheduled to feature all...

Jon Corzine Fingers Mr. Potter; Says Life’s Not So Wonderful

Washington DC - Failed hedge fund CEO Jon Corzine yesterday called on a House Subcommittee to arrest Henry F. Potter, a Bedford Falls banker and slumlord, for fraud and malfeasance in connection with the collapse...

Herman Cain’s Wife Urges Him to Run - for His Life

Atlanta - Beleaguered presidential hopeful Herman Cain returned to his suburban Georgia home to ask his wife the loaded question: “Should I continue to run even though they’re saying that I cheated on you,...

Nintendo’s Mario Named Prime Minister Of Italy

Rome - The most famous video game character the world has ever known has been appointed Prime Minister of Italy. In the latest attempt to get Italy’s debt crisis under control, Nintendo’s Mario has been put in...

Presidential Lottery to Replace Elections: May the Best Bet Win

Washington, DC - Americans are betting that they can select a better president by chance than by choice. The presidential elections, which were scheduled for next November, have been replaced by the nation’s...

Social Media Turning Americans Into Socialists, Study Warns

Washington, DC - America’s growing use of social media is transforming the population of the United States into “a gang of pinko, socialist subversives,” according to a study by a leading conservative think...

Bazaar behavior: US Plans the World’s Biggest Yard Sale in Iraq

Baghdad - Iraq’s capital city has never seen a shopping bazaar like this. As the US military starts to withdraw from Iraq, it’s organizing the world’s largest yard sale to liquidate its surplus of equipment...

I REALLY MISS GEORGE W. BUSH

You know what? I miss President Bush, and I'm tired of people still dissing him like he's some chump. Yeah Clinton was great, but who would you rather have had in office after that, Gore? Kerry?read...

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