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‘Reverse Bonus Checks’ Drain Wall Street Bank Accounts
New York -- The global economic crisis has finally caught up with Wall Street insiders who triggered it. They are discovering that their traditional year-end compensation is lowering the balance on their bank... ‘CSI: Kardashian’ Puts the Madcap Back into Murder
Hollywood, California - CBS has launched a fourth version of its Crime Scene Investigation series, but with a twist. This time, the show plays forensics for fun, with members of America’s least talented but most... China Sending Men to the Moon to Build a Lunar iPad Factory
Beijing -- China has revealed the purpose of its manned missions to the moon. The Chinese want to construct their next electronics assembly plant there as the first step toward using the moon as a manufacturing... NYPD Threatens To Shut Down Times Square On New Year’s Eve
Police in New York have announced a plan to block the city’s New Year’s Eve celebration, contending that its crowd control responsibilities in Times Square interfere with a more essential duty. “The public... Congress Puts The Internet Up For Sale
Washington DC -- Faced by increased popular pressure against its moves to control and censor the Internet, Congress has decided to sell the World Wide Web to the highest bidder. “The Internet is very powerful in... Donald Trump Creates A New Political Party -- The Trumpets
New York -- Just days after turning in his Republican membership card and secret decoder ring, real estate developer Donald Trump has launched his own personal political party. “It’s called the Trumpets,... Steve Jobs Still Running Apple -- From Hell
Cupertino, California -- Almost three months after his death, Steve Jobs continues to head Apple Inc., controlling the company from his special place in Hell through a combination of Wi-Fi, G4 and supernatural... US Declares a World Record Victory in Iraq
Baghdad -- The United States military today is celebrating a major win in Iraq. American troops are heading home after setting the world record for the longest and most expensive stop and frisk in the history of... John Boehner Kills ‘Share Christmas With Your Senator’ (Satire)
Washington DC - A program that would have allowed United States Senators to join in the Christmas celebrations of their constituents has been voted down by the House of Representatives. “We’re giving a big... What Does Ken Burns Want for Christmas?
This two-minute mockumentary may have the answer. It was produced by BAMPA -- the Barely Any Motion Picture Association. And features slow pans and zooms of old photos of not so famous people. ‘Christmas with the Candidates’ to Replace the Trump Debate
New York - Real estate developer Donald Trump has announced that his planned presidential debate has been canceled due to lack of interest and replaced by a holiday special. The program is scheduled to feature all... Jon Corzine Fingers Mr. Potter; Says Life’s Not So Wonderful
Washington DC - Failed hedge fund CEO Jon Corzine yesterday called on a House Subcommittee to arrest Henry F. Potter, a Bedford Falls banker and slumlord, for fraud and malfeasance in connection with the collapse... Herman Cain’s Wife Urges Him to Run - for His Life
Atlanta - Beleaguered presidential hopeful Herman Cain returned to his suburban Georgia home to ask his wife the loaded question: “Should I continue to run even though they’re saying that I cheated on you,... Patrice O'Neal: Comedian Dies at 41 Following Stroke
Patrice O'Neal Dead at 41 Comedian Patrice O'Neal has died at the age of 41. Matt Frost, Patrice O'Neal's agent, confirmed that O'Neal passed away following complications from a stroke, saying, "Many of us have lost...
created by NowPublic Staff | 1 year ago | updated 1 year ago
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126 views | 0 recommendations | 1 comment
Pope Orders ‘Missal Launch’ on Salt Lake City, Igniting Holy War
The Vatican - The introduction of a new Missal, the prayer book that serves as the script for the Catholic Mass, has resulted in a Holy War between two of the world’s religions. Upon publication of the new... 
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