Death was near - Man almost pea’d to death

There are so many innovative ways to die..."Death in a mire of dried pea, hmmm there must be better ways to go. I guess that is what an unnamed man was thinking when he almost drowned to death in a silo of peas  "

Give Em A Medal

"On Canada Day they drink Canadian beer, lots of ot it, and they stumble around the Nations Capital looking for somewhere to pee, and lo and behold they find the National Momunment to Canada's veterans; the War Memorial and let loose a torent of used Canadian."