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Attorney General Holder orders America to turn itself in
Washington, DC -- The Obama Administration’s top lawman has officially arrested the entire population of the United States. In an unprecedented Justice Department directive, Attorney General Eric Holder... Kim Jong-Un to Star on Celebrity Apprentice (parody)
Hollywood -- North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un has signed up for a starring role on next season’s Celebrity Apprentice series. Slated to lead a team of contestants that will include Gary Busey and Dennis Rodman,... Gun debate leads to a rise in suicides (satire)
Washington, DC -- As the gun control debate enters its fifth month with no end in sight, mental health authorities are blaming the drawn out policy dispute for a rise in the nation’s suicide rate. The major... Korean tyrant buys world domination plan from US defense firm
Pyongyang, North Korea -- Spring is the season when a young man’s fancy turns toward world domination. And so it goes with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, who recently purchased a blueprint to take over the... Cyprus Banks Take Back Toasters, Ruin Breakfast
Nicosia, Cyprus - The shiny toasters that bank customers received for opening new accounts are being confiscated by the financial institutions that gifted them. Objective: to help ease this country’s multibillion... GOP Acquires Carnival Cruise Lines for ‘Fun and Profit’
Somewhere At Sea - Looking to shake its stodgy image and sinking popularity, the Republican Party has purchased Carnival Cruise Lines. The move is designed to rebrand and re-energize the right side of the political... Tribal Group Sues the Vatican Over Smoke Signal Rights
Cheyenne, Wyoming -- The Tribal Gathering Is taking the Catholic Church to court over its use of smoke signals to announce papal election results. “Just because you know how to build a fire doesn’t mean you can... Bloomberg Bids To Become The Second Jewish Pope
The Vatican -- New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is moving to complete a deal that would make him the second Jewish Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church. “St. Peter was Jewish and he turned out to be the... Miracles of Pope Benedict Revealed
Vatican City -- As he retires as the mystical leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict is being honored for the miracles he performed while pontiff. Among the amazing feats with which he is credited are... NASCAR’s Fan Appreciation Scheme Backfires
Daytona, Florida -- A rumored NASCAR plan to shower its loyal fans with free souvenirs ran into a glitch at the end of its Nationwide Series race here. The idea was to launch a “piñata car” into the home... Apple Says It’s Time for a ‘Smart Wristwatch’
Cupertino, California -- Top secret patent papers, leaked during a sequestered privacy spill, have revealed that Apple has chosen to design a ‘smart watch’ as the innovation that will save the company.... Bada Boom: Mafia Put in Charge of U.S. Drones
Washington, DC -- Under growing criticism for using remote-controlled aircraft to hunt down and kill suspected terrorists, the Defense Department has transferred its top-secret aerial assassination program to the... Super Bowl Blackout Was No Accident, Pentagon Reports
New Orleans, Louisiana -- The 35-minute power failure at this year’s Super Bowl was intentionally planned, according to US military officials, who revealed today that the outage was a failed test of a... New Gun Control Ideas Are ‘Run Up the Flagpole’
Washington DC -- The presidential task force to control gun violence is floating several ideas through the national media to get public reaction before it releases its final report. Panel head Vice President Joe... America Replaces Coins With Cons To Fix The Debt Disaster
Washington DC - Forget about trillion dollar coins. A request by President Obama for new ways to pay off the national debt has prompted an avalanche of better scams and more sophisticated innovations designed... Top Members Today
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