Yogurt Rescues the Greek Economy

Athens - Don’t stick a fork in Greece. Use a spoon instead, because the debt-riddled nation is about to emerge as Europe’s economic powerhouse, thanks to booming sales of Greek yogurt. “Greek yogurt has more...

Over 12 Million New Jobs Found Locked in an Omaha Warehouse

Omaha, Nebraska – America’s frantic search for new jobs has hit the mother load. A team of Navy SEALs has uncovered and seized a long-forgotten human resource center, containing over 12.4 million private sector...

Homeland Security Crushes July 4th Terror Plot (Parody)

New York - After years of burning through trillions of taxpayer dollars, the US Department of Homeland Security has finally scored. The agency shut down an elaborate terrorist operation that would have destroyed...

Republicans Unveil a Do-It-Yourself Healthcare Plan

Washington DC - Desperate to take the lead in the nation’s never-ending healthcare debate, Congressional Republicans are massing behind an initiative that would provide all Americans with a do-it-yourself...

Holder Admits to Fast and Furious Foul-Up: ‘We Forgot the Drugs'

Washington DC — Under mounting pressure to disclose more details about the government’s Fast and Furious gun-running fiasco, Attorney General Eric Holder revealed today that the effort failed because a “drug...

Obama Dumps Biden; Names Apple’s Siri As His Running Mate

Washington, DC — Faced with declining poll numbers and a withering economy, President Barack Obama has dropped Vice President Joe Biden from the Democratic presidential election ticket, selecting Apple’s...

Vampires Mashup with Umpires for the Next TV Trend

Hollywood — Television is drawing new blood from the legends of Transylvania, combining vampires and umpires to create the next big viewing trend. “We knew the vampire concept was losing steam when retail sales...

Tsunami-Driven Toyota Dealership Washes Up In California

Venice, California — Japan’s 2011 tsunami has brought yet another surprise to American shores.  A Toyota dealership, complete with a sales staff and a service dapartment, has landed on the beach here, less...

New Yorkers Tired of Bending Over; ‘Stop and Frisk’ Under Attack

New York — The heat is on the “stop and frisk” powers of the NYPD.  Heavy political pressure has prompted Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly to develop alternatives to a procedure that allows police to...

Coffee Chain Takes Over Spain’s Banks; Euro Out, Starbuck In

Satire — Madrid — The Starbucks Corporation has injected a shot of caffeine into the world’s financial system, taking over Spain’s devastated banking system so it can replace bank branches with Starbucks...

Bloomberg Shrinking 'Fatty Freedoms' In New York City

New York’s diminutive mayor has launched a campaign to shrink the city’s citizenry down to size — one resident at a time. The effort began today with a ban on super-sized sugared drinks and will progress with...

Olympics Scaled Down to Face Debt Crisis Realities

London — The 2012 Olympic Games may be weeks away, but they are already feeling the effects of the European debt crisis.  A long list of austerity measures is being implemented to help the international...