#ExilePitbull: Send Pitbull to Kodiak, Alaska

by NowPublic Staff | July 3, 2012 at 09:02 am

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Exile Pitbull: Send a Celebrity to Kodiak

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Wal-Mart launched a Facebook contest featuring rap artist Pitbull: whichever Wal-Mart location got the most Likes would get a visit from Pitbull. The contest is to promote Energy Sheets ("the world leader in dissolvable functional strips". Uh, okay).

David Thorpe, who writes for SomethingAwful and The Phoenix, got wind of the contest, and decided to have a little fun. Thorpe chose the most remote Wal-Mart location possible: Kodiak, Alaska.

David Thorpe's imagery in selling #ExilePitbull was hilariously evocative:

Ne-Yo rescuing a hypothermic Pitbull by shoving him inside a dead tauntaun
Pitbull's beard is flecked with ice, his face rough and windburned. "I am excited to share Energy Sheets with my fans."
If you haven't liked the Kodiak Walmart yet, you haven't pictured Pitbull standing in a river, biting into a raw salmon

The #ExilePitbull stunt hit Reddit, thus reaching an even wider audience. If you're feeling bandwagonesque, you can take part: Exile Pitbull to Kodiak, Alaska.

It's looking like Kodiak will win, as it's completely dominating the contest.

This being the internet, Thorpe's stunt has garnered some weird reactions. Bizarre racist trolling, personal attacks, and plenty of people desperate for something to make them angry. One guy who isn't angry about #ExilePitbull is Pitbull, who told HuffPo, "Wherever the fans want to have a party, I will be there."

Indeed, the real winners here are the Pitbull fans of Kodiak. Sure, the Likes for the Kodiak Wal-Mart are coming from everywhere but Kodiak, but this would surely be the only way Pitbull would ever visit such a remote city. Sure, he's Mr. Worldwide, but that implies cosmopolitan cities with vibrant nightlife scenes. Kodiak is more about ski touring than bottle service.

Update: Pitbull is not only willing to go to Kodiak, but he's invited David Thorpe, who would be crazy to turn this opportunity down. Getting to Kodiak isn't easy: best to have Mr. Worldwide (or Walmart) footing the bill.