Tech & Biz

Matthew Robson Report: Teens Snub Twitter, Enjoy Viral Marketing

by Truemorist | July 13, 2009 at 03:26 pm

3054 views | 3 Recommendations | 7 comments

Large numbers of media executives and investors were admitted into hospital for respiratory problems the morning of Monday, July 13, 2009. Eyewitness reports say they had all stopped breathing upon seeing the front page of today's Financial Times: a research report written by 15-year-old Matthew Robson detailing today's teenage internet and media usage habits.

According to Edward Hill-Wood, executive director of the Morgan Stanley media team in Europe, Robson's report was "one of the clearest and most thought-provoking insights we have seen".

"We've had dozens and dozens of fund managers, and several CEOs, e-mailing and calling all day." He said the note had generated five or six times more responses than the team's usual research.

Others present at the scene reported hearing the words "Holy Grail" and "Rosetta Stone" uttered by several victims as paramedics treated them for ecstasy-induced shock and delirium.

Robson's report, the original draft of which has been requested by the the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the British Museum, and The Smithsonian for their respective collections, included the following findings:

Teens find Twitter useless. (This particular finding caused a second wave of hospital admittances as media analysts around the world self-imploded.)
Teenagers are using more and more media, but remain unwilling to pay for it.
Teens don't read newspapers, hardly listen to traditional radio, and are watching less TV.
Teens are put off by intrusive ads and find web banners and pop-ups pointless and annoying.
Teens support and enjoy viral ads, finding them humourous and interesting.

0 See all footage | View Slideshow

Share: email story | add to any | | facebook | stumbleupon

recommend This comment thread is now closed

Ben H (not verified)

at 21:30 on July 13th, 2009

So he's 15 and wrote this in a day...

All of those findings are so blatantly obvious that it is beguiling to understand why this merits mention?

The Smithsonian wants a copy of it too? How hilariously depressing.

Luciano Galasso

at 07:42 on July 16th, 2009

As was previously mentioned, this article is satirical. That being said, the 90's generation has been born with technology in their hands and they don't appreciate it. They don't realize how it has changed the world in which we live in the benefits it provides. It's incredible how it has connected people all over the world

-- Luciano Galasso

cyn.khoo

at 21:55 on July 13th, 2009

Ben, this is actually a satirical post, in the style of The Onion, for instance! But I do agree that it is kind of stating the obvious, and that it's sad that so many people--in executive/positions of presumed intelligence, to boot--were falling over themselves about it.

melody ha (not verified)

at 10:26 on July 15th, 2009

I feel that Mr. Robson's article is very simple, but he is only accounting for a small portion of the youth of today. Assuredly there are still teenagers that watch television throughout the year no matter what "sporting" season it is. There are still students that read the newspaper, though the numbers are dwindling. It can be agreed upon that the internet ads are quite atrocious. Twitter is an easy avenue to expressing one's emotions or rants in a short way that people can easily access online.