Netflix Raises Prices and Infuriates US Customers

Here's what a friend of mine was moved to write about it... a satire version of the Netflix message to customers:

"Dear [Customer], 

We've decided to increase the cost of your membership by more than 50%.  Obviously we needed some straw excuse to do so, and just to really rub your nose in it we're going to call that excuse "choice" and pretend we didn't already offer TEN different plans.  
Your current reasonable membership rate is the one which earned us the large and loyal customer base that allowed us to drive most big box as well as mom&pop movie rental shops out of business this decade.  That's the same reasonable membership rate which we just raised approximately one year ago the last time we offered you the "choice" of a lesser, streaming-only offering.  Now that we dominate the video rental entertainment sphere, we want to collect more bux by ridiculously splitting your current plan as follows:

• Plan 1: You-Didn't-Want-It-The-First-Time-We-Offered Unlimited streaming of our still quite limited streaming library
  
• Plan 2: Cool Retro! DVD-only plan

As an added convenience we're defaulting you into the price hike in just a few months in case you miss this email or don't get around to updating your membership selection for any number of valid reasons.  Such reasons may include but are not limited to the fact that if you make no changes to your plan at this time you may continue your current plan membership until September 1, BUT if you change the setting today, then why today you can go ahead and kiss that online streaming or dvd rental goodbye!  So don't forget to make that setting change, 'kay?!  And do please note that once you switch you may not switch back to your currently existing plan at your currently existing rate, regardless of whether or not it's prior to our official September 1st changeover. 
Pretty much we're aware this is gonna piss off & drive away a lot of you customers, and fuck you very much for your business.  We need the money for our new production company.  As always, we have a toll-free number with a frustrating 30-minute queue wait time if you need to yell at some poor, underpaid schmuck about it.  

-The Netflix Team"